Handwriting Via Finger-painting

I recently wrote about introducing sewing to children to indirectly prepare them for handwriting. That then led me to the idea of offering printed alphabet cards with punched out holes for Stella to sew. I also mentioned that I’d better make sure that Stella knows how to write the letters properly before offering the alphabet sewing cards. Since then I have been thinking about a way to ‘assess’ Stella’s letter writing abilities without her knowing that I am testing her. I hate to cause unnecessary stress. Finger-painting could well be a fun way.

If the weather continues to be fairly mild on one of the days that I work with Stella next week, I might suggest we do some finger-painting. It is something she enjoys doing. I will see if she can paint any letters using her fingers before suggesting some letters. This may prompt her into writing out the whole alphabet if she knows how to. It is not important for her to know how to write them all. I just need to take notice of the ones that she is capable of writing properly. Most importantly, it will be the order of each letter’s formation that I will be paying my close attention to. This will let me know if she is ready to sew those letters because she will be required to sew each in the right order. Judging from some of her work at home, I am already pretty sure that she is able to write quite a few of them because her mum had taught her to write some, especially the ones in her name.

Stella is able to identify and sound out almost the entire alphabet. She is better at identifying the upper case letters, which is something quite common among pre-schoolers. With the lower case letters, she is still making typical mistakes like getting confused with letters like ‘b’ & ‘d’ and ‘p’ & ‘q’. That is ok. We should give her a break. She is only 4 and a bit!

I have gotten a little side-tracked again. Now, let’s get back to finger-painting. This form of art allows the child to move about the whole table’s surface freely to write or draw. It is less restrictive than writing on a piece of paper. There is no need for the child to use any writing tools. If desired, a paint brush can be offered to write the letters. Most children are quite happy to just use the index finger of their dominant hand to write or draw and then delete by swiping across the surface with the palm of their hand to start all over again. Since the child is likely to enjoy this tactile activity, it naturally becomes a relaxing way to ‘assess’ if the child is forming her letters properly.

Unfortunately, finger-painting is not everyone’s cup of tea. Some people are just horrified by the amount of mess to clean up afterwards. A friend of mine is even horrified by seeing her child touching the paints with his bare hands. As a substitute, a tray of sand can be used instead for writing with fingers. Purchase a large art tray – the ones made for indoor table top mud play or finger-painting. This type of trays is available at Kindergarten or Art supplies shops. Other types of trays are fine also provided if they have low sides. Add to the tray a layer of fine, washed sand for the child to write or draw. If preferred, cornmeal can be used as a substitute for the sand. One mum I know even mixed glitter into the sand to entice her little princess! (What is it with girls and glittery little things?) I was kind of surprised that she didn’t dye the sand pink. Now, if sweeping up spilled sand is still too messy, one can always encourage the children to write the letters in the air. That really is a clean and thrifty option.

NOTE: I recently wrote about finger-painting and suggested making prints by transferring a child’s design to a piece of paper. This technique is not applicable to writing because the resulting prints will be a mirror image to what the child has written.

Kissy Kissy

This incident is one of those awkward moments I got caught up involving dads of the children that I look after. No! I didn’t go fishing for an illicit affair between a dad and I. Just read on and drop me a comment to tell me what you think.

The first family that I ever worked for as a nanny introduced a couple to me, hoping that I would babysit for them occasionally. The couple were expatriates from England, temporarily living in Melbourne while the husband was working for a big well known company. At the time, they had two boys – Conroy and Benjamin.

I started off babysitting the boys occasionally when the parents went out in the evenings. The couple was friendly but I sensed that their relationship was somewhat strained right from the start. The boys were easy to look after. Baby Benjamin had kidney problems and was on medication. Conroy was very chatty and quite bossy at times. Although he was only 2.5 when I started, he talked more or less like a pre-schooler. I remembered being told that he aced an interview to join a local Kindergarten in the new school year. Apparently the teacher was very impressed by his abilities. Stella reminds me of Conroy very much. After a couple of months, the mother negotiated to hire me on every Wednesday afternoon. She learned from her friend that I was working half days on every Wednesday. She wanted someone to be there for the boys while she played tennis. I was happy to do so because her house was within walking distance of the other family that I worked for. I remember enjoying the walk over there after lunch.

On a sunny afternoon not long after this arrangement was made, I arrived at the house and noticed immediately that it was very quiet. The boys were already napping. It was usually my chore to get them ready for nap time. I sat down in their living room, flipping through their English magazines. The boys’ mum came to say goodbye to me and told me that she would be back at around 5 pm. I noticed that she looked teary. After she left, I moved to sit in the kitchen to get closer to the baby monitors. Within minutes, I heard someone coming down the stairs and I immediately thought that Conroy must be up to something mischievous. I decided to meet him at the stairs but as I neared them I realized that the footsteps were too heavy to be that of a toddler. I looked up to find the boys’ dad. He greeted me with a big smile and then headed straight for the front door. He opened it slightly and told me that he was expecting his secretary. I stood there wondering why he was home at that time of the day and why his wife didn’t inform me that he was home. Because he was rushing around, I just left him and went back to the kitchen.

There was a knock at the front door and I went to see who it was. Standing there was a young woman with a smile that disappeared very quickly when she saw me approaching. (One should never waste any efforts flashing their beautiful smiles at a lowly nanny.) After she identified herself, I invited her to come in and informed her that the boys’ dad was still upstairs. It was only then that I noticed the luggage in the hallway. Before I could offer her a drink, he came down the stairs and had greeted her, whispering to her that the boys were napping. He went over to her and gave her a big kiss! No, it wasn’t just a peck on the cheek. It was a long steamy one on the mouth! I knew my position. I walked away, removing myself from the scene ASAP. I am not sure if he was aware that I was standing nearby when it happened but she knew I was right there.

I sat at the kitchen flipping through the day’s paper, pretending really hard that I hadn’t seen anything that had just occurred. He came in to get himself a drink (she had declined his offer) and didn’t give me immediate eye contact. He seemed to be behaving like a super excited high school boy. Just before he left though, he told me that he was on his way to Sydney and then Hong Kong a couple of days later. He made a comment about how fast asleep the boys were and told me to tell them that daddy would call later that evening. I then waved goodbye to them from the front door.

As soon as I shut the front door, I ran up stairs to check on the boys. I suddenly saw the need to check on them. They were both fine, sleeping soundly in their own bedrooms. Until they got up, I just couldn’t stop thinking about what I had seen. I debated as to whether to tell their mum. It was a difficult afternoon. Conroy looked quite like his dad and every time he approached me, he reminded me of him instantly. I tried to carry on as usual, taking them out for their walk and then playing with them in the family room and back yard until their mum’s arrival home. I didn’t know what happened but when we heard her arrival I decided right then that I would not tell her anything. The boys greeted her lovingly and she came in to see me asking about their afternoon.

I just couldn’t tell her what I saw. With the dad off working interstate and then Hong Kong I just couldn’t bear knowing that she would be stuck at home with the two boys crying her heart out. That day I saw first hand how lonely it can be for expatriates living in a foreign land. Okay, England is quite similar to Australia in the eyes of most people but I don’t think Melbourne was their ‘home’ after just 6 months. I knew also that the boys’ mum was not coping really well. When I was dropped off for a brief interview before I started babysitting for them, she came to the front door in tears. I was ushered to the kitchen while she cried to the phone. She sounded very upset about being left to deal with everything on her own and yearned to go home (referring to England). After she hung up the phone, she excused herself before our conversation. Before I left, she pleaded that I should not tell her friends about what I heard. I didn’t tell anyone until now. The family has since returned to England.

It is hard to start a new life in another country. It is even harder when the family is falling apart because one important member is ‘busy’ somewhere else.

Sewing for Handwriting Preparation

There are a number of things children can do at home to develop their fine motor development as a preparation for beautiful handwriting. Sewing is one such activity. It helps to develop good hand-eye coordination.

I introduced a simple lacing activity to Stella last year when she was just 3. I bought this set of 4 simple plastic animal shapes with holes along the edges for the child to lace using a plastic threading lace. No sharp needles are required. I introduced only one animal shape at a time. The rigid plastic shape made it a manageable activity for a pre-schooler. Stella really enjoyed working on it and she was always making sure that she didn’t skip a hole. This was her first ‘Sewing’ activity.

Seeing that Stella was ready for something more advance, I decided to teach her how to thread using a darning needle and thick yarn in May. She had just turned 4 then. I showed her how to thread the darning needle with yarn and then how to thread through the holes of the animal shapes. I let her experiment these new techniques with the plastic animal shapes at first. They were quite tricky for her to manage at first. She enjoyed choosing the colour of yarn she would like to work with and concentrated very hard to thread it through the needle’s eye. (If you are going to offer this activity, be sure to buy darning needles with large eyes.) When she started to thread the yarn through the first hole on the plastic shape, I noticed that she was struggling because she had a tendency to pull the yarn all the way through. Because she was not able to tie a knot, I showed her how to use a piece of sticky tape to stick the end of the long yarn to the centre back of the animal shape. She didn’t like this step of the activity and would always ask for my assistance before proceeding to threading the yarn through the holes. Before long, she realized that she could thread multiple yarns of different colours through the holes to create a ‘rainbow’ effect.

I thought about what I can do with Stella this week on the weekend. I thought I might offer sewing again. This time, I have decided to abandon the plastic animal shapes. To give Stella the next challenge, I decided to encourage her to apply the same sewing technique she learned earlier on cards. Sewing on cards is more challenging because they are less rigid than plastic. While it is possible to buy ready made sewing cards from good toy stores, I chose to make my own. I print out the picture of a spider on sky blue cardstock and then cover it with a layer of clear book cover on the top to make it more durable. I then cut the cardstock down to 20 cm x 20 cm, making sure that the spider is approximately in the middle of the card. The idea is not for Stella to sew around the spider. I decided to create an ‘invisible’ cobweb for the spider by marking out dots on the card before punching them out using my craft punch set. When the sewing is completed by the child, she will see that the spider is actually sitting on her cobweb (waiting for a fly). I chose to punch larger holes but they weren’t as big as the ones on the plastic animal shapes.

I presented this activity to Stella today and it was a hit. She was at first more interested with the unique knitting yarn that I offered. She also asked about the plastic animals’ whereabouts. After I showed her how to thread through a couple of holes, she requested to finish it on her own. She stopped a few times because she wasn’t sure which way to go. After a while, she noticed the shape and informed me that she had made a cobweb for the spider. You should have seen her eyes when she discovered it. I now intend to make a few more of this type of sewing cards for Stella to work on.

I recently purchased a font set online. This means that I can now write (type) and print the Victorian Cursive Font. This is the type of font that children learn to write with when they go to schools in Melbourne. Since Stella is already quite capable in identifying her alphabets, I think I will print the letters out in bold using this font and then punch smaller holes on them for Stella to sew. I think I will offer her letters from her name at first. Come to think of it, this activity may have to be postponed until later this year because I must first make sure that she knows how to write the letters on offer before sewing them. It is important for the child to know the order of writing each letter before sewing it.

Children can continue to enjoy sewing activities even after entering school. As they develop, basic stitches can be introduced for the child to master. Offer Cloths like Binca and Aida for them to practice stitching. Encourage them to draw a picture on a piece of cloth and then show them how to place it on an embroidery hoop before sewing the picture’s outline. Such creations can then be framed. From the way they grip the needle to the way they move their wrist and arm, hand sewing helps children to indirectly prepare themselves for handwriting.

Stella’s Counting Was Inspired by Noah

Stella has a picture book called Noah’s Ark. It is an abridged version of the biblical story written and illustrated by Lucy Cousins (author of the popular Maisy series). While she nowadays has an attraction to story/picture books that are more complicated, Stella dug this book out from a box on Thursday and asked me to read it to her. She said she used to like it as a baby, which I think is referring to a time before I came into her life. She spent a few extra minutes looking at the pictures in the book afterwards before we left for the park. When we got back, we still had more than an hour before her mum’s arrival. I had nothing to do because I was not expected to cook dinner. I asked her for ideas.

Stella suggested we make a boat just like Noah. Trying to let her make the decisions, I asked her what she would use to make the boat. She went straight to her ‘useful box’ and fished a men’s shoe box declaring, “This is it. This is the boat.” Next, she told me that she would fetch her toy animals from the cupboard. I was just watching all this from the couch. She set up the scene on the big coffee table in front of me. She lined up the animals like they were queuing to enter the ark. As she busied herself, she mumbled the same line from the book, “Then the animals came, two by two into the ark.” I noticed that she was having trouble pairing up some of the animals because she didn’t have two of every animal. For the dogs, she paired a Jack Russel with a Black Labrador. She was also forced to pair two lionesses because she didn’t have a lion. She was aware of the two’s identical gender as well.

Noticing that the two important human characters were missing from the scene, I asked Stella if she was Noah’s wife. She replied, “No.” and carried on pairing things for the ark. By then she had even paired buttons, balls, pencils, paper clips and other little toy vegetables for the ark. I asked her for the whereabouts of the famous couple. At one stage, she stopped and explained that they had gone to the market to get more food for the animals. A few minutes later, she stopped again and gave me one of those looks as though she had just thought of something. “I suppose I can use those Lego people to pretend to be Noah and his wife.” To that, I got up because I would be needed to help carry the crate of Duplo blocks. I was hoping earlier that she would come to use the Duplo figures on her own because there were more animals in the crate. She did and it was a great idea. She looked through her collection and selected animals from there to pair up with lonely plastic animals on the coffee table. I watched as she tried to select the human characters. It was fortunate that she has at least one female figure. This female zookeeper was selected to be Noah’s wife. I told her that was a nice choice because we need her help with the animals. Stella wanted a male figure with a beard of some sort to be Noah but she didn’t have any sporting facial hair. Bob the builder was given the honour to be Noah. (By the way, we don’t think that Stella knows Bob the builder in the same way that other children would. She knows of his name but has not watched his shows.) After selecting the couple, she had no choice but to choose 3 male figures to be their sons. One of the boys had a darker complexion. I thought he was probably adopted.
Stella proudly showed her mum the scene she created. She explained that the animals were all lined up, two by two, just like the story. Her mum asked about the buttons and toy vegetables. Stella explained that Noah’s wife needed the buttons to make clothes and the vegetables were food for everyone. Before I left, Stella’s mum couldn’t resist whispering, “Luckily Noah picked the right pair of lions for the ark.” She obviously didn’t notice the dogs.

New Underpants for Bree

Bree’s mum is so happy with her little girl’s progress; she bought some new underpants for her. These are proper underpants from the very popular French brand Petit Bateau. She used to wear Petit Bateau bodysuits when she was a baby. The underpants are still too big for her to wear right now but I think they will fit nicely by her 2nd birthday in November. She is still wearing trainer pants for now. This is the soft terry towelling type with a thicker centre to soak up any little accidents. Bree started learning to use the toilet in June and has been progressing smoothly since.

Bree is pretty much dry during the day when she is awake. Her mum and I are adventurous and we have decided to take the spare potty (that is normally kept in the car) with us when Bree and I visit the local parks. The potty chairs at her home can’t fit the storage area under Bree’s Mountain Buggy. So, her mum bought another smaller Baby Bjorn potty because she is so keen for her little girl to learn to use the toilet soon. Bree is always encouraged to use the toilet before we leave the house but sometimes nothing happens. We try to keep the duration short for when we are visiting the parks. One of the regular parks that we go to does not have a public toilet and Bree’s mum is just not happy for her child to use the toilet at the other park. This is why we pack the smaller potty under the buggy, and take with us a set of spare pants and trainer pants and some wipes for her and the potty. So far, I thank God that Bree has not done a poo when she has relieved herself in the great outdoors. She has always been very regular in that department. She does her poos in the morning, before my arrival most of the time.

Bree still wears a disposable nappy for when she takes her afternoon nap. Again, she is encouraged to go to the toilet before putting on the nappy. Last week, she woke up in the middle of her nap and wandered into her bathroom on her own and then cried for me because she wanted to use the potty. Because she wasn’t quite awake at the time, she must have become a little disoriented and wasn’t quite sure that she was wearing a nappy. When she is fully awake, she is quite capable of taking her trainer pants off carefully before sitting down on her potty. On the two days I looked after her this week, Bree woke up with a dry nappy. As soon as she started to be chatty, I took her to the potty and there she produced big amount of wees on both days. We adults were very proud of her but I think she is just as proud of herself too!

I Love Melbourne’s City Library

I enjoy my weekly visits to the City Library. It is located on Flinders Lane. It is accessible for people living in the Melbourne CBD, Southbank and Docklands. People from other parts of Melbourne who work or study in the city are signing up for memberships there too.
The list of books available is really quite comprehensive. I am so glad that I didn’t have to buy the prescribed text for the previous unit of studies that I was doing. I think the recommended retail price for the book was around $100. Instead, I borrowed the book from this library and used it throughout the whole duration. Along with the State Library, this library has served my needs over the years but unlike the State Library, I can bring the books home to complete my assignments in peace and quite.

This library is really quite unique. It has the usual facilities like computers for hire and conference/meeting rooms, like most suburban libraries. On top of that, there is a piano on the first floor for those who are not shy to play their favourite pieces. A very good pianist comes in to play too. I am not sure of her schedule but she is very good. This is the same lady that used to play the piano at the Galleria on the corner of Elizabeth and Bourke Streets. Again, I am not sure if she is still playing at the Galleria as I have not been back there since their big renovation. Now back to the library, where there is also a gallery upstairs (right where the piano is) for displays of community art. Towards the back of the library and up a short flight of stairs in the mezzanine area is where the audio CDs, DVDs and Magazines are kept. Also sharing the mezzanine area is the young adult (teens) section. I mention this because I think the designer of this area has really catered to teenagers’ needs. There are bean bags for them to chill out and the lights are dimmer, giving it a relaxed atmosphere. I recently noticed that they have installed a Nintendo Wii in this area. Visitors are welcomed to use this for half an hour at a time.

The only thing I don’t quite like about the City Library is that it can get quite crowded at times. As it is part of the CAE, their teenage students use the library at certain times of the day. Many were obviously educated in a different but strictly regimented style previously and are not yet accustomed to indoor protocols (within a more relaxed model of education) in places such as libraries. So, it is not uncommon to see 18-19 year olds behaving like toddlers, running up and down the stairs and book aisles and chatting away loudly like they have just recently bought the facility. To a nanny who has been looking after boisterous charges, the sight of these teenagers can be quite amusing. In times like this I just walk in to pick up the books I need quickly and leave ASAP. There really is no point circling like a frustrated ‘boxing day’ driver looking for an empty car park because most of the comfy tub chairs would have been taken. People even come in for a snooze on those chairs.

On a recent visit to the City Library I noticed that visitors are now allowed to use the seminar/conference room upstairs for quiet reading. This room used to be locked up when not in use. Now that it is open, it has increased the seating area for people who need to check out a book or two before borrowing. I really appreciate this move. The library also has improved the small reading area within the younger children’s section. Removing the foamy stools, they placed a set of child-sized tables and chairs, and a purple polka-dot beanbag for mini visitors to use. They also provided colouring pages and colour pencils for little artists to enjoy. I think I might take Stella with me for a visit before Christmas.

Ooh yes, the librarians are friendly too. Except for a couple of incidents, I have not seen them snapping at people unfairly. A few of them really know their job well. Someone asked one of them about a book and she immediately provided the initial numbers for the section where the book was likely to be. She did it off the top of her head. I sometimes sit under the stairs, an area quite close to where people register for membership. I noticed that most librarians are mindful when dealing with people of a NESB. They weren’t seen raising their voices (in frustration) when talking to people with little English. Have you ever seen those morons who speak loudly to people who speak English as a second/foreign language in the hope that they can increase their understanding? They are not deaf. Do you think this (raising the voice) is done to humiliate the people? Do you think these same people are also applying the same technique of increasing the volume when dealing with wilful children? I can think of many amusing examples. No, the offending adult is not me.

It looks like I got a little side-tracked again. Back to the City Library, I hope the people running this facility will continue to do so. I have enjoyed the services on offer and will continue to visit it weekly. If instead of being bored to death by this post, you somehow become interested to this little gem in our great city, visit it and see for yourself.

My New Study Materials Arrived!

Yippee! I am so happy to have received my latest set of study materials. After taking a break, I can’t wait to get things organized so I can get started. I took a peek at the materials in the package and I have to say whoever put this unit together did a pretty good job. To that, I mean everything is laid out in an organized way, quite unlike the previous unit I completed. After blogging here I might surf the web to see where I can get hold of a copy of the prescribed textbook. With this course, as well as my on going educational/language project on the side, this nanny will be quite a busy bee until the start of Summer.

I Love Home Brand 200 Facial Tissues

With Spring just around the corner, I am stocking up on tissues. I get hay fever, sneezing away in September and October. I discovered the Home Brand tissues about a year ago. I have seen them in the past but didn’t bother to try them because I was hooked on the Symphony brand of tissues. The Symphony tissues have nice boxes that I have enjoyed selecting from. Regarding the quality of each sheet of tissue, I find little difference between the Home Brand ones from the Symphony ones. The tissues are strong and scentless. To me, it is important for them to be scentless. Both brands are great but I now buy Home Brand ones simply because it is cheaper than Symphony. They are ‘Made In Australia’ too. I conceal the ugly, plain box by covering it with a cute quilted cover I made.

I used to buy Sorbent but I find the strength of each sheet is no longer up to my standard. The same thing goes for Kleenex. I seldom buy Kleenex (even though I grew up using them) except for when I have a cold. I do like those eucalyptus scented ones for when I am not feeling well and if I have a sore red nose (from excessive nose blowing); I will also go for the more expensive Sorbolene ones by Kleenex.

Australian Made Toys? Please Enlighten Me

I was watching the news a few nights ago paying particular attention to the piece on Mattel’s Toy Recall. A lady who was asked who should be involved in checking the standards of quality for toys entering Australia suggested that imported toys should be avoided. If the term ‘imported’ refers to all toys that are manufactured overseas and brought into the country to be sold locally, can someone please point me to the right place to shop for Aussie made toys? I believe imported toys include those that are made in Europe, the UK and the US, not just China. (Yes, this nanny is aware that China is now producing the bulk of the toys available today.) If all imported toys are under scrutiny, is this lady trying to say that Aussie made toys are of the top most quality?

I recently searched high and low for Australian Made toys for a little ‘relative’. It all started because I ‘scored’ a great buy on Ebay. It was an auction for a brand new pair of Clarks boots. They were one size larger than what this little ‘relative’ was wearing at the time. The price and service were excellent but the best thing was that the boots (from older stock) were ‘Made in Australia’. I couldn’t believe my eyes. The savings ($$) allowed me to buy another gift to go with them. The idea was to keep things Australian made.

After visiting various toy and department stores, I found a basic plastic tea set in a plastic hamper, a plastic rugby ball stand, a set of quoits, pieces of sandpit toys, a very expensive tepee and a toddler swing seat. I also found a nice rocking horse online somewhere. The tepee and the rocking horse were immediately struck off the list because of costs. The toddler swing seat was beyond my budget as well but the child was already 4 and has a swing set in her back yard. Being raised as a modern day Aussie princess, I didn’t think this child would ever encounter a rugby ball stand or want a set of quoits for that matter. In the end, I bought the picnic/tea set from Big W. They weren’t pink but I thought this would be a great opportunity to introduce other colours into this lucky child’s wonderful world.

Hey, what about the pieces of sandpit toys? They were Aussie made alright, but I am in no hurry to part my hard earned cash on toys so poorly made, even though they were the cheapest on my list. I love Australia but I hate to lie. These toys were awful. The little rake was flimsy. The edges were uneven (not sharp) on most of them. They just didn’t look well made. Of the whole range, only the sand scoop was pretty good. My gift would have look really odd if it had consisted of a scoop and a pair of boots.

I didn’t find many Australian made toys. Do you know where I can find more variety? Email me to tell me please. If I don't have to, I prefer not to shop from online stores because of exorbitant postage quotes.

The Need to Rant and Vent

I have been annoyed by a number of things lately. Since I have this blog, I thought I might as well vent my frustration here. These posts will be tagged under a new topic called ‘Ranting & Venting’. The posts are not necessarily related to my work as a nanny. They have more to do with my private life and events happening in society. The first one will be on the Mattel Toy Recall. As I have said in the past, what I post in this section (and in the rest of the blog) are just my personal opinions.

Finger Painting Question

I received an unexpected call from Bree’s mum on Sunday afternoon. She needed confirmation on the precise technique of finger-painting. She said she couldn’t resist any longer. They bought Bree a set of paints for finger-painting and a roll of butcher’s paper. They wanted Bree to create another print because they would like to have it properly framed to give to Grandma’ Ettie. It was while she was on the phone that she realised that she had forgotten to buy Bree a smock. I told her to use one of Bree’s long sleeved bibs, like I did. I also took the opportunity to ask if I can make a smock for Bree. She thanked me and quickly offered to pay. I refused the payment and gave her the excuse that it will just be a plain smock. (I am going to use calico. How ugly huh?)

Bree’s mum called because she wanted to know if I really place the paint on her little table. Another friend of mine also asked about this earlier this year. The answer to this question is yes. I do place a dollop of paint on the table for the child to work on. I do this because I find the results less disappointing. If the paint is placed straight onto the paper, it is likely to tear if the child works on the same spot over and over. This can be a little frustrating for the child who has just discovered finger-painting. When the child is ready, I will place a clean piece of paper over the design and run my hand firmly to smooth it out before peeling it carefully off the table. Older children learn to perform this step independently. The print can be dried by pegging it to the indoor clothes rack but I prefer to dry it flat on the dining table or kitchen bench. I suggested the kitchen bench because some dining tables are just not suitable for this type of ‘abuse’.

When I did the finger-painting with Bree, I offered only red paint. It was only her first introduction. I will introduce the other two primary colours later. If I am offering different colours, I will make sure that there is space in between the dollops of paints on the table. The children can discover for themselves the mixing of the colours to create new colours. It is through this type of physical experimentation that they may become aware of the different gradations of colour tones.

Bree’s mum didn’t bring up the issue of the mess created by placing the paint straight on top of the table but my friend did. I explained that children can be taught to clean up the table afterwards. That itself is another activity that children love. I am looking to introduce this to Bree later this year. Bree can be given a piece of sponge to pick up the paint from the table top. She can be taught to rinse the sponge and then go over the table top again until there is no longer any paint left. Stella (2 years older than Bree) is very capable of doing this and she even uses soap occasionally to give her little table a proper clean after picking up the paint. Initially, the young child’s effort may be somewhat clumsy but just like anything, with practice and encouragement, she can become quite a little expert in cleaning her own table. I believe that it is never too early to expect children to manage their own activities independently or at least as independently as developmentally possible.

NOTE: Until the child is fully capable of cleaning up after themselves, we adults are still responsible for the bulk of the cleaning to keep things tidy, neat and hygienically clean. Mess should not be an excuse to inhibit a child from discovering his/her world.

Stella Can Count To 10 (and more!)

Stella loves to count. She is not just rote counting by just saying the names of the numbers in sequence, she can actually count and is very good at it. She is quite capable of counting from 1 – 100 with very few mistakes.

It was only a little over a year ago when she happily helped me sort my barrel of teddy bears into 4 colour groups. (Some people, including the toyshop staff who sold me the teddy bears years ago, believe that pre-schoolers are incapable of such an activity. Well, not all pre-schoolers are identical are they?) Then she decided to line the teddy bears within the same group according to their size. The teddy bear counters come in 3 sizes. She used to also create stories, telling me what the groups of teddy bears were up to.

Stella still enjoys sorting teddy bears, spools or other counters into groups. Nowadays, I get her to group identical things in 10’s. Through experimenting on her own, she is now aware that 10 red mama bears = 10 blue mama bears. It doesn’t matter if the red ones were ‘holding hands’ in a circle or the blues ones were lined up like school children. She is aware that there are 10 in each group even if they are standing differently and she makes sure by counting each group again. She also discovers the meaning of x groups of 10, showing me that she is beginning to understand basic multiplication. So, if I ask how many bears are there in 2 groups of 10 teddy bears, she would quickly line up 2 groups of 10 teddy bears and then count the total, to give me the answer.

We play other counting games as well. Sometimes I just make things up as I go along. I might tell her that 10 baby bears are going to the beach but two got sick and had to stay at home. Then I ask her how many baby bears are going to the beach. She is usually very quick with this type of questions. She has plenty of practice and loves the attention that I give her in these 1:1 sessions. It doesn’t take long either. We don’t spend hours drilling. That is just not my style.

I Love Arthur Daley’s Clearance House

Big Brother doesn’t like the spruiking coming from this store but I don’t mind it one bit. My iPod blocks all the noise out. I discovered this store way back in 1998. It is located in the basement between KFC and Subway on Swanston Street. This is the block between Flinders and Little Flinders Streets. There is also another temporary store on Swanston Street, located just opposite the city square. The temporary store is in the building that used to be the Melbourne Sports Depot store.

I am not related to the owners of this discount variety store. I am blogging about them because I have come to love this store more and more overtime. I love their books ‘department’. I recently bought a set of books by DK on animals for just $25. Had I chosen to buy this from somewhere like Borders, I would have had to pay more than $70. I also bought ‘Commando for Action and Adventure – The Best 12 ANZAC War Stories Ever’ for a male friend for just $10. Apparently, this book is about $25 at other book stores. I must have saved heaps from the books I have bought from this shop over the years.

The Arts and Craft ‘department’ is another area that I like. I noticed that this area is expanding with the introduction of more things that I had not seen when I was there last time. There is also the Stationery ‘department’ and the Household ‘department’. To me not everything I have in my life has to be branded. For instance, I am happy to buy a simple white stoneware salt shaker from this store than to have to pay much more to get a similar one from MYER. As long as something like this works, I don’t care if it is a top brand or not.

Not everything on sale in this store is my cup of tea. Yes, even a thrifty nanny like me can be fussy, but I don’t think there are any stores that satisfy me 100%. If I have to rate this store out of 10, I would give it a score of 8.5. So, if you read this and happen to shop in the city, try this store and you might find something interesting too.

NOTE: The owner of this store is not Arthur Daley. That turns out to be the name of a very dodgy character from the old British TV show ‘Minder’ who was always trying to sell something at a bargain price. LOL.

An Art Corner At Home

I received a phone call from Bree’s mum on Tuesday night. She said she is going to have the finger-painting prints framed. Bree’s dad was very proud of her work. I was told that the finger-painting activity gave her an idea on what to get Bree for her 2nd birthday. They had been wondering what to get her. Up until Tuesday, they were thinking about buying a cubby house or outdoor play unit for their small backyard. She is now thinking that art equipment may be more appropriate.

Bree’s mum asked if an easel was an essential item. I told her that most of the children I looked after have an easel at home but many don’t really use them. Parents enjoy witnessing their child unwrapping a big present, but they don’t often continue to provide items so their child can use the easel properly. They may also find it too cumbersome to clean up after their children’s painting sessions. While modern easels come with a storage area for the paint pots or chalk, so they are always accessible to the little artists, many parents can’t possibly leave the items out at all times because of a younger baby’s presence and some prefer a minimalist look around the house, without the permanent ‘clutter’ of an easel in the family room. Some parents even come to resent the chalk dust after a while. So, I suggested that they should think seriously before investing in an easel.

From my experience, most children are quite happy to do artwork at their own little tables. I think ample art supplies and proper storage for their art equipment is more important than getting an easel. It is off-putting to expect a child to draw if their markers no longer work or if their colouring pencils are of such a low quality that they are constantly breaking. While I may have mentioned markers, I am not a big fan of them. I am not against them because I am the one who has to clean them up if children use them to draw on the walls. In fact, one can buy washable ones these days (think Crayola). I am against them because they don’t teach children about shades. Children using colouring pencils will discover that they can produce darker or lighter shades by the strength of their application. Providing different types of paper is just as important. Plain A4 paper is fine for drawing. A large roll of butcher’s paper is a good budget option for painting at the easel. Thicker type construction paper is also good for collage or 3D art and Origami paper is not just great for Origami but is also great for cutting exercises. Collecting clean, used packaging (e.g., Cereal Boxes) in a useful box encourages children to reuse creatively.

All of the equipment mentioned above should be stored neatly in a cupboard accessible to the little artist/s. At Stella’s house, she has a cupboard designated just for her art materials. Her mum paints during her spare time, so she decided that Stella should also have her own little art cupboard. Both mother and daughter have a cupboard next to their own easel. Stella watches what her mother does and has learnt from a young age to clean up afterwards. She doesn’t just turn up at the easel demanding to do a painting. She knows how to retrieve the paint pots from the cupboard, select the brushes required and rolls herself a fresh part of the butcher’s paper on the easel. (She has one of those easels where the roll of butcher’s paper is attached.) Everything she needs is neatly organized in this cupboard. There is even a little ice-cream container with a sponge and a spray bottle filled with water for cleaning up spills. Unlike other children, she doesn’t run away after her painting. She knows to take the brushes to the sink to wash them and then let them dry in the backyard. The painting is left on the easel to dry and display. When she is ready, she may ask for it to be cut and removed. Her paintings are stored neatly in a big box. Observing how Stella handles things so maturely scares me sometimes.

At Bree’s age, she requires only a minimal amount of equipment at this stage. I have offered her black pencils and a fat black crayon to draw, but I must say that her creations with these pencils and crayons didn’t draw as much attention from her parents as her red finger-painting. For drawing, black pencils and crayons are a must as are ample supplies of white paper. When she is ready to paint, paints in the 3 primary colours should be introduced first. She will need bigger and stiffer brushes, one for each paint pot. Choose paint pots with a stopper. The paint pots should be placed on a stool next to where the child is painting. It should be next to the child’s preferred hand. Stella’s neighbour made her a wooden caddy to place her paint pots in. It carries up to 10 paint pots and it has a handle for easy transport. It is very handy indeed. Going back to painting, Bree will definitely need a smock. A plain smock (e.g. made of plain calico) is ideal but I have a feeling that they will buy her a multi-coloured one. Maybe I could make her one for her birthday. I shall talk to her mum first.

An easel does have its use, and was not invented for no reason. It allows the user to view the entire painting right in front of them. It also helps to develop large muscle control. I have observed children who painted really well on an easel. One little boy of 4 (at the time) would paint using different colours trying different brushes. He would stand back to admire his painting every now and then. He would check out the brush work and the colours from different angles. No one at the day care centre had ever told him to do that. We thought he must have learned it from home but we later found out that no one at home was painting either. He probably worked it out for himself.

The amount of materials is only minimal when a child first starts doing artwork. As more colours, brushes and other things (e.g. scissors, glues, clay, etc) are introduced, the amount of materials grows very quickly. This is why a cupboard designated for art materials is essential. Art is a fairly affordable activity that we should encourage children to explore. Everyone can express their feelings through art. It is something that anyone from around the age of 18 months onwards can enjoy.

Stella Is Exhausted!

Stella was again exhausted today. I picked her up from the Kindergarten and she was very quiet on the way home. According to her teacher, she didn’t finish her lunch. I made her another vegemite sandwich when we got home but she fell asleep on the couch. I carried her to the bedroom for her nap before I called to inform her mum and was allowed to let her sleep longer. Apparently, she had been like that in the last few days. She was tired too last week and I thought that was the result of the trips that she took. A week on and the poor child is still tired! We don’t think she caught a bug. She was fine after her nap, when she was back to her usual self, full of energy and very talkative. She was hungry too. She ate the vegemite sandwich very quickly.

Bree Loves Finger-painting

I introduced finger-painting to Bree today. Yes, she may be a wee bit too young but I thought she may enjoy experiencing this medium in her hands. She loves feeling things with her hands and with finger-painting; she may also enjoy making patterns that we can then transfer to paper.

Without a proper art smock, I put on her one of those long sleeved bibs that she uses for dinner. She was very interested to see what I had in store for her. She observed closely as I unscrew my bottle of red finger paint. I placed a big tablespoon of the paint on her little table. Bree looked at the dollop of paint and I could see that she was about to poke it with her fingers and might even taste the paint by sticking those fingers straight into her mouth. I quickly invited her to feel the paint in her hands and added that it is not food. I must have underestimated her again because she agreed by pulling a face and saying, “No. Yucky!” I suggested that she try spreading the paint on the table with her hands. I did this by showing her myself. She tried to copy me by first using her palms and then her fingers. She would stop every now and then to inspect her hands. Looking at the squishy paint on her hands, she squealed “Ick!” in delight. I wished her mum was home to look at her face.

After experimenting spreading the paint all around the table top for around 10-15 minutes, I reached for a piece of paper that I had placed conveniently on the dining table nearby. I showed her how I could transfer the pattern created by her on the table to the paper. I thought she would be very satisfied with the print she had just made, but she didn’t seem to be. She just went back to spreading the paint on the table and inspecting her hands periodically. Unlike a preschooler, she was truly at a stage where the process mattered more than the product. I interrupted her to transfer a couple more prints before I suggested that we wash up. She refused and I thought I would give her a few more minutes. I was actually a little worried because I thought she was due to go to the toilet. Luckily, she held on and the wee-wee accident I dreaded didn’t occur.

When she had had enough, she asked, “Wash hands now?” and I took her to the powder room to help her clean up. I asked her how she felt and she answered, “I like paint.” I suggested that we show her mum the prints when they were dry and she smiled. Once she was clean, she proceeded to use the potty and produced a big wee. After that she watched me as I cleaned up the table with a sponge. I thought there and then that this table cleaning would be a great little activity for her come Summer time. Bree went to the powder room to fetch her step up stool because she wanted to inspect her prints drying on the kitchen bench. She pointed to the one in the middle and said, “For Mummy?” and I agreed with her. I asked her if she is going to give one to Dad and she picked the third one. Only then, she pointed to the first one and said, “For @#*-@#*.” (That was referring to me.) Of course I was chuffed. It is excellent to learn that I have a spot inside my little charges’ hearts every time.

The ‘Shame’ of Using Real Nappies

Mathilde’s cranky mum once told me that she was not keen to introduce me to any of her friends for fear that I might leave her to go and work for them instead. I found it quite funny that she was so frank about this. She eventually did introduce me to another mum from Mathilde’s playgroup. Ned and Kelly’s mum was desperate for a babysitter because she was unable to extend the children’s hours at the local daycare centre. She needed someone to look after the children once a week for a few months before their seachange. I accepted the offer.

During the initial interview, I asked about the children, gathering information to learn more about their daily routines. Because Ned was still in nappies I naturally asked if they used real or disposable nappies. She told me that he is in disposable nappies. I didn’t ask the question to cause guilt. For as long as I have been asking the same question to all new families, I have yet to encounter a child who uses real nappies in my working life as a nanny. Real nappies may be a lot of extra work but I am happy to give it a try if any of my charges use them. When Ned’s mum answered my question all those years ago, I sensed that she was somewhat ‘affected’ by my question. I didn’t quite know why but chose not to push it. She did however show me her ‘unique’ nappy routine. She showed me how Ned uses a nappy liner in his disposable nappy and how if he did a poo in the nappy, the poo must be flushed down the toilet before wrapping and disposing the used disposable nappy. All other parents that I have worked for do not do this and when I have suggested this, many just look at me like I have suggested a parenting style from Mars. Ned’s mum didn’t use wet wipes either. They used terry or flannelette face cloths and toilet paper for messier jobs. The used cloths are soaked in a bucket of Napisan solution. Ned’s mum washed them in the washing machine every second day. I thought her routine was interesting and she was probably doing it to lessen the impact on the environment.

One day, Mathilde’s cranky mum told me stories about the playgroup. She told me how the group members used to laugh behind the back of Ned’s mum because everyone decided that Kelly smelled. Kelly is the older of the two children and is only a month older than Mathilde. I looked after both children and didn’t smell anything. I asked Mathilde’s mum what she meant by smelly and she explained that Kelly smelled because she used real nappies. I tried not to show shock on my face and I was also not convinced. Apparently all of the other mothers reckoned that Kelly didn’t smell like an ordinary baby. She didn’t have the sweet smell. She apparently smelled of urine all the time. Mathilde’s mum also asked me if Ned used real nappies at home. I told her that he used disposable nappies. To that Mathilde’s mum said, “That is why you didn’t smell anything offensive.” Before she left the house she warned me not to repeat any of this back to Ned and Kelly’s mum.

Towards the end of my short stint working for this family, the family home was often messy because they were trying to sort and pack things up for their seachange. In Ned’s room, I found piles and piles of terry squares and expensive AIO (all in one) nappies. I picked up one of the AIO nappies and said, “Wow! You must have spent a lot of money on these.” She looked down to the floor area where all the nappies were and told me that the children used to use real nappies. Although she looked less confident than normal she told me that Kelly used real nappies throughout her entire nappy days, but Ned used real nappies for only the first few months of his life. She told me that she didn’t stop because of inconvenience. She said she didn’t know that her babies were smelly until Ned was about four months old. Someone (from the playgroup) was asking her about real nappies before letting her know that Ned smelled of urine. She said that she is a supporter of real nappies but when she found out that people have been laughing behind her back she chose to stop using them. She didn’t want Kelly and Ned to be laughed at. At first she put disposable nappies on Ned when they were going out. Before long she was hooked on using disposable nappies all day. She said she wondered how long Kelly had been laughed at. I didn’t say a word and just stood there listening quietly. I could see the pain. Ned’s mum said that she might try using them again if they had another baby.

I felt awful that she found it shameful to use real nappies because of other people insensitivities. It is from that time onwards that I started to dislike playgroups. I think the idea behind playgroups is great if the mothers and the babies get the support they seek. Throughout my work I have seen parents coming home from playgroup gatherings feeling like they have failed because their child is not progressing as rapidly as another member’s child.

Unlike the Panadol ad where a new mum (who is apparently a GP) declared that she learned heaps (including things she wouldn’t have learned otherwise) from her mother’s group, some of the things the mothers of my charges have learned are just hilarious. One group is convinced that some of their children are ‘slow’ because they were IVF babies. One mother of a child who is speaking later than the others was accused of not revealing their IVF status. I didn’t know mothers were required to reveal how their child was conceived when joining such groups. How intrusive? Instead of celebrating individuality, the members are expected to conform. I am not surprised that some parents ditch their own ways just to avoid the shame of being laughed at. It is like high school all over again.

Overloading Leads To Resentment

I consider myself to be very lucky currently because the two families that I work for appreciate my work and are considerate in that they do not overload me with work. Stella’s mum once said that a nanny is a helper hired to lighten her own workload around the house. A nanny is not there to take over all of the household chores while also looking after the kid/s.

There are many nannies out there that are stuck in appalling work environments. They are made to complete all sorts of chores around the house as well as making sure that the children are well looked after. I know what that is like because I have been in situations like this before. My years working for Alexandra and Bella’s families were like a living nightmare. I thank God each day that I don’t have to work for them ever again.

Parents sometimes overload the nanny’s working day because they think they should squeeze as much as possible out of the nanny since they are paying her a wage. Mothers often feel completely stressed out from looking after the children and taking care of the household chores and affairs with very little help from their husbands. If they can afford to do so, many mothers hire someone to share the work. For example, hiring a cleaner will free up precious time for the mother so she can spend more time with her precious little ones. Most mothers are appreciative of this sort of help. Unfortunately, there are mothers who after enjoying briefly the benefits of hired help, succumb to a never ending search for more ‘me’ time. They may then think of ingenious ways to create more ‘me’ time for themselves. This may include requesting the cleaner to look after the children while she cleans the house. If the cleaner resents this, she may be offered a small raise of an extra dollar per hour. If that doesn’t work out the mother may even contemplate hiring both a nanny and a cleaner. According to the last census, we Aussies are richer than ever. Unfortunately, it is still out of the reach of most Aussies to hire both a cleaner/housekeeper as well as a nanny. So what is a mum desperate for ‘me’ time to do in such a stressful situation? Well, she can sack the cleaner and hire a nanny. This type of mothers tends to be very fair to the new nanny at first, but just as the nanny is about to settle in, the mother is then likely to raise a bar and then another bar, gradually adding more to the nanny’s workload. The mother may even pepper her little project with bits of psychological bullying to create guilt and pity. Looking back to what Alexandra’s mum used to do I sometimes can’t help but laugh at how manipulative someone can be, to exploit another human being like this. I laugh at myself too. How naive can I be to be fooled like that?

Another reason why parents overload the nanny with work is because they believe it to be a form of abuse prevention. While parents are happy to part with their income so as to hire someone else who will look after their children, many do not trust the person they hired. By overloading the nanny with work, these parents come to believe that the nanny will be too busy to be able to plan anything evil towards their children. She will have little time to plot and execute anything to get back at the family. Why o’ why do people hire nannies if they suspect them so much?

Overloading a nanny’s work load can lead to resentment and stress that then leads to poor work quality. To expect a nanny to clean windows while still keeping an eye on two very active toddlers is not fair. It is hardly fair for a mum to be expected to do that, however it is considered an accident if one toddler breaks his arm because the other toddler pushed him off the couch while mum was cleaning windows. On the other hand if it happens while the nanny was cleaning the windows, it can be seen as neglect and the parents may press charges. Nannies working in such conditions are very stressed and are more likely to get sick and are also more prone to real accidents. The children under her care will be affected. Whose children are these again? They are the precious little ones of the very people who paid the nanny to look after them in the first place. I for one will not pay someone and then stress them out so that they can look after my child haphazardly.

Just remember to keep it simple. A nanny is a person who looks after her young charges. This includes any chores that are related to the child/children. She may give the children their baths, but cleaning all the bathrooms and toilets is not part of her job description. She is there to cook or serve up food for the little ones. She may load the dishwasher afterwards and perform general cleaning in the kitchen after food preparation, but she is not meant to be cleaning the BBQ, the fridge and the space behind it while the children are napping. I love folding clothes when the children are napping, but that does not mean I am asking to iron the undies of the children’s grandparents. Above all be appreciative of the nanny, especially if she is doing her job well and shows initiative to help around the house when she has the time. Do not take her for granted just because she is naturally hard working.

NOTE: The chores I have highlighted in the last paragraph are only part of a long list of things a nanny does each day.

Stella’s Mini Charity Project

I earlier blogged that Stella went to Indonesia to visit her mum’s friend. I also revealed a little about a charity project that Stella and her mum were participating in. Here is what happened.

Sometime in May, I was instructed to look in bags of Stella’s old clothes to pick out summer clothes suitable for children living in Indonesia. Stella and I looked through them weekly and picked out the ones she was interested in giving away. Shoes were not selected because of their weight. Stella’s mum explained that they would be visiting a friend in Indonesia soon and they will be giving away the clothes.

This friend in Indonesia is an Aussie expatriate currently working over there. In her spare time, she and another two Aussies help out at an orphanage. She had arranged for Stella and her mum to meet the children at the orphanage. She had apparently planned the same thing for another group of friends last year.

Stella’s mum was really looking forward to this visit. I thought she was probably looking to adopt a child. She told me that she wanted Stella to be involved in charity from a young age and this was to be one where she could be involved actively. In the days before they left the country, Stella’s mum bought a whole heap of Australian biscuits as extra gifts.

On the morning they visited the place, the friend drove them there in her car. They were introduced to some senior staff. The gifts were presented at the office. For a little while there seemed to be some kind of communication break down. The staff began to see them off, apparently not aware that the visitors would like to see the children. After reminding them again, Stella and her mum were allowed to tour the facilities briefly. One staff member said that most of the older children were away. They were first shown the babies’ room and then the toddlers and preschoolers.

According to her mum, Stella walked around the place with her eyes wide open. Stella was her usual friendly self, playing with a few preschoolers and sharing a laugh or two with a few of the toddlers. The children were very fascinated by the look of Stella. She kept telling them in English that she had clothes for them in the office but none of the children understood what she had meant. Stella’s mum was hoping that her daughter could have morning tea with the children but that didn’t happen. Then they were ushered back to the office.

Inside the office the bundles of clothes had been opened. The bags of biscuits were gone. The senior staff member thanked Stella and her mum over and over. She also thanked their family friend and her friends for helping out regularly in so many ways.

When Stella’s mum told me the story, I somehow felt that the visit somehow fizzled out. I felt that she was hoping for something more to come out of it. I asked Stella if she enjoyed visiting the orphanage. She proceeded to explain to me what an orphanage was. She seemed to think that if an Indonesian child lost both parents, he or she would go and live in the orphanage that she had visited. I asked her how she felt giving away her clothes and she told me the children didn’t need them anyway, because they already have clothes when she was there. Was she thinking that the children were really without any clothes prior to her visit? I also asked if she would talk to the children at her Kindergarten about her visit to the orphanage. To this she said that she would tell them of her visit to Buller and that she is now the best skier.

Less nappies = $$$ Saved

Bree’s mum told me the other day that she noticed savings in her grocery bills. With the costs of everything going up and up these days, she was wondering the reason behind her lower grocery bills. It was when she was changing Bree into her pyjamas one day that she realised that Bree is now using less disposable nappies. Using only 2-4 daily nowadays, there is no longer the need to purchase nappies as frequently as before.

Bree’s mum is also saving money in another area. Taking my suggestion, she bought some clothes for Bree from Target instead of expensive children’s boutiques. To the family, Bree is a miracle baby. Since her arrival, Bree has always been given the best of the best. She is usually dressed in very expensive clothes from top to toe. I recently suggested cheaper type and easier to manage clothes from Target. Pants that a child can pull up easily and take off quickly are useful for learning how to dress. Bree didn’t seem to mind one bit. She is happy wearing leggings from Target or Jeans from Fred Bare or Ralph Lauren.

Bree’s Potty Progress

Bree is making good progress in learning to use the toilet (or in this case, her potty) independently. There were plenty of successes in the last few weeks. As reported earlier, Bree is very good at telling when she is ready to do a poo and has been able to do this in the potty successfully right from the start. Urinating in the potty proved to be a little trickier but she is beginning to get the hang of it. There were times when she was unable to hold on and ended up wetting her pants at the entrance to the toilet door. On half of these occasions, Bree would cry even if I didn’t react. After cleaning her up, she will sometime sit on the potty again (without being prompted) and is occasionally surprised to produce another wee. Her parents and I are always amused by the delighted look on her little face.

Bree’s mum raised the question of a sceptical reward style plan to speed things up. She told me that a friend of hers suggested that we use a sticker chart to mark Bree’s successes in a day, and then reward her for collecting a decided number of stickers. This friend is using this chart at home for her little boy, who is around a year older than Bree. He only started toilet training at around the same time that Bree started hers. Bree’s mum was sceptical that it would work. We can see why they want to speed things up though. He had recently been accepted to an ELC for a 3 year old Kindergarten programme, in the next school year. His parents were told that he had to be toilet trained to attend.

I know for a fact that such a novelty way will definitely not have continuous positive results, especially if the sticker system is later introduced to ‘control’ the other parts of a child’s life. Children should not be rewarded for performing what is considered to be a normal bodily function. This is like rewarding a child for eating her meals each day. I have never been a fan of this sort of reward style plans (as seen on TV) for children. When things like toileting skills are introduced at the right time, children often participate without the need to be tricked into a reward scheme. For every little success, Bree is visibly happy to be able to complete the whole process. She is satisfied because she did it and looks forward to the next time. She is not doing it to get a sticker. Collecting stickers to get a toy doesn’t make sense to a child Bree’s age.

As soon as a child is curious and neurologically mature enough to start independent toileting, we as adults should support him/her gently. There shouldn’t be any time constraints to put pressure on the child so that he/she will be ‘trained’ sooner. Allow the child plenty of chances to learn to manage his/her own life gradually. Avoid introducing novelty methods to add more CONTROL.