Free Lectures at Safeway @ QV

The Safeway supermarket in QV at the city is undergoing renovations. The products are all over the place and this makes it hard to shop ‘systematically’. The aisles also seem narrower than ever and I hope this is only temporary. Narrow aisles won’t do in this particular Safeway because many shoppers like to shop in groups and spread out to take up as much space as possible to chat or to discuss the quality / the use of the products on the shelves.

I was there a few days ago and bought only 4 essential items that came to a measly total of just $10. It was either because I was drop dead tired or that my ageing memory chips were playing up, as I had forgotten all about the newly installed self-checkouts. I even filed past them on the way to be served by a checkout attendant. When the young checkout attendant saw the items I unloaded from the basket, she asked, “Only 3?” I fished out a small pack of lollies under the bread and answered, “No, there are four actually.” Up to that point, I was still my cheerful self despite being very tired and longing to get home ASAP. Then I was given the lecture of my life. I was asked if I had ever used the new self-checkouts. She then went on to explain how to use the self-checkouts and why I should use them. I don’t mind gentle suggestions but this checkout chick was bombarding away very loudly. She asked a few questions but there was no way I was allowed to answer them because there never was any intention for her to allow me to do so. She was too busy bombarding away as she checked out the items that I had bought. If anyone saw me looking very guilty for taking up her time, they should have tried looking at the two customers after me. The woman after me bought only two items and the man after her bought only one! To avoid a similar predicament, the Asian students after them wisely moved to another checkout. Those kids are unusually quick in sniffing out a potential ‘loss of face’ situation. I just put up with her verbal spray and even thanked her before I left. There was no point in complaining. This store is making a roaring trade. People living in the city rely on it.

I recently heard that some supermarkets were trialling the idea of charging customers for plastic bags. In fact, Borders is already charging customers for plastic bags. Now, I am all for greener living and I personally use calico bags for all of my shopping. Even the girls, Bree and Stella are taught to use a little green bag whenever we go shopping. So, I am not totally against the idea of paying for the use of plastic bags, but if they can start charging this to promote greater environmental awareness, I can’t see why they won’t dig up some reasons to start charging for other services that are still free to customers today. For instance, with the installations of these self-checkouts, these shops would probably one day find a reason to charge a small service fee if a customer instead chose to be served by a checkout attendant.

The Safeway supermarket at QV opened its doors around September 2003. The staff members were mostly friendly. Most of the checkout attendants were Australians. They were probably students from universities nearby. Cameron and I used to have our favourites and would prefer to be served by the ones we liked. I can vividly remember one guy that looked like Ian Thorpe but shorter. Then some were gradually replaced by more people from the subcontinent of India who were just as friendly. I think they too were mostly university students and I often wondered why the others were replaced by them. Cameron and I too have our favourites among the ‘foreign workers’. A few of them seemed happy and would make small talk – something of a rarity in the city. With the influx of these machines recently, I think even the friendly and probably cheaper overseas born checkout attendants are finding themselves a no match in this fierce competition. I wonder if any were given the boot or whether some were retained to help stock the shelves. What is obvious is that this is one example of how it is becoming harder for students/unskilled workers to earn a small living and with the global financial crisis looming ever so close, it really looks like there is going to be a tough period ahead.

Abandoning the Blog Again?

Yes, yes, I am absolutely guilty of abandoning the blog again. I actually wanted to blog about the wonderful things I did with the girls during Stella’s third term holidays but I just kept putting it off. My lack of enthusiasm is because I just don’t think that there are people out there interested in reading about what a nanny does with her charges. They probably are more interested in what a mummy does with her little ones. My writing could also be a problem. The writing style and contents may not be engaging enough. Someone once complained that I carried on a bit. People may also be put off because I may be coming across as harsh and mean.

Another reason that I temporarily abandoned the blog is because I was away from home for 10 days recently. I played the role of being a temporary live-in nanny to Bree when her parents were away. They first went to Sydney for a few days of work and then flew overseas to attend a wedding. Looking after Bree around the clock was fun. Her parents were so satisfied with how everything turned out; they are hoping I will do it again when they plan to go away without Bree. While I enjoy caring for this little girl and loved the fatter pay check (who wouldn’t in this financial climate?), I hope her parents are not taking up the habit of leaving their precious child with me. They have been great parents so far.

As for this blog, I will keep this blog going for a while. I think I mentioned in a recent post that I am aiming to post at least 8/10 times per month but my heart is simply not into this anymore. There are other things that I enjoy doing more now than maintaining a blog that serves little purpose. Maybe I should start considering deleting this blog and start afresh with another one that is not related to my work as a nanny.

A Return to Stability

June was a busy month for me but July was like a roller coaster. The month (July) started with Bree getting better from a nasty bout of ear infection. On the day after Stella and her parents jetted off to New Zealand, Grandma Ettie arrived and my long awaited short break started. Then I returned to work on the day before the start of Stella’s 3rd term. I looked after both girls from Monday – Thursday for two weeks and then it was time for Bree to go to Buller with her parents on the 25th. I had only Stella to look after all week last week but because she attends school, I only looked after her for a few hours each day.

We are beginning a new month this week. It looks like we are returning to some kind of stability again. I will be working from Monday – Friday for two weeks and from Monday – Thursday for the other two weeks. This is pretty much the typical arrangement for most of this year. I am so glad that this Friday is one of the two Fridays I don’t have to work. Cameron and I have planned to watch the opening ceremony of the Olympics in China. We hope that things will be smooth sailing for them. Stella’s parents did originally plan to take the Supergirl to China for the Olympics but plans changed and they ended up taking her to New Zealand during her school holidays.

I have been blogging mainly about Stella lately. So for a change, I will blog more about Bree this month but this will have to wait till I finish blogging about Stella’s literacy journey. In terms of regularity, I hope to write at least 10 posts this month. I no longer have the desire to post more often than that.

Non-Stop Work

The end of the financial year came and went and I have been working long extended hours to help the busy parents out. Even the weekends were not excluded this year. I am not complaining. My Uni studies are done for now and I have the extra time to help out. The long awaited break is now just around the corner. Phew!

Bree was not feeling well all week last week. By Friday, she seemed to be on the mend but went downhill again on the weekend. After going to see the doctor yesterday (Tuesday) with her mum, she got herself another lot of antibiotics. Bree, like Stella, is a very healthy child and she seldom gets sick. Hopefully, she will get better in time for Grandma Ettie’s arrival. I heard that she has some goodies for the little girl. The family is lucky that the trip to Buller is not happening till later this month. This will give Bree ample time to recover.

I was very lucky that the girls didn’t have to spend all days together. Stella’s Winter holidays had started and she spent her mornings at her friends’ homes from Monday – Friday, last week. The Gang of Four had plenty of opportunities to catch up and play before going away. Who says the only child is bound to be lonely? Stella had plenty of socialization with a small tight knit group of friends. She also has the luxury of lots of me time at home. Having the time to discover her real self is something many other children do not have. Stella gets to know her personal strengths and weaknesses as well as developing an ability to work independently with fewer distractions. Children who know themselves well are more able to resist negative influences.

With Stella and her parents jetting off to New Zealand tomorrow (Thursday) and Grandma Ettie arriving on Friday, this overworked nanny is finally having her well earned 10 day break. Tomorrow will be my final day. I will return to work on the 14th, looking after both girls. That is the last day of Stella’s school holidays.

My Blog's First Birthday!

OMG! My blog turned one yesterday! I can't believe that I have kept it up for 12 months already. I wonder how much longer I will go on. I didn't miss it all that much when I took a break recently. Now that I am recovering from my recent ordeals, I will put in more effort to blog at least twice a week. Fingers crossed.

Open Book Exam

In my opinion, open book exams are more cumbersome than turning up at a certain venue to sit for a proper exam that usually last only a few hours. While the extra time allowed to complete an open book exam is valued, I find that the work is more or less an extra assignment. I am glad that I only have half a question left. Once the answers are emailed back to the University, I will have the time to really reflect on the two sad events that have happened since early April. Hopefully I score well enough to proceed to the next stage even though I am not exactly sure if I want to do another unit this year. If I do choose to exit now, I will still gain myself another piece of ‘paper’ but it isn’t exactly what I originally aimed for.

What Happened To My Alexa Ranking??

Just check out my Alexa Ranking. It is awful! I think I was ranking 11 before I stopped blogging. It wasn't like I was lazy. I wonder what I have to do to bring it down again. How very annoying! Can't stay up any longer to whinge. I have got to go to bed or I won't wake up for work.

Abandoned Again?

This is just a quick post to let everyone know that this blog is not deliberately abandoned. A number of things had happened since I last blogged. I will start blogging again soon. There is so much to share about the girls. That photo of Sir 'Weary' Dunlop should really be taken down. Anzac Day was quite a while ago!

Ten Favourite Picture Books for Toddlers

Here is a list of picture books that I always use when working with little children of Bree’s age (29 months). I usually read them aloud to children from around 18 months to around 3 years of age. Older non-readers enjoy listening to them from time to time as well. Occassionally, beginning readers also enjoy practising their new found skills with these books. This is especially true if they have younger siblings and would like to read to them for fun.

1. The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle
2. Peepo by Janet and Allan Ahlberg
3. Where’s Spot? by Eric Hill
4. Dear Zoo by Rod Campbell
5. The Baby’s Catalogue by Janet and Allan Ahlberg
6. How Do I Put It On? by Shigeo Watanabe
7. Rosie’s Walk by Pat Hutchins
8. Hattie and the Fox by Mem Fox
9. Mr Brown Can Moo! Can You? by Dr Seuss
10. Toddlerobics by Zita Newcome

This has been fun. I think I will make another list of books on another day.

What are they growing at the Children’s Garden?

Here are a couple of photos of one section of the Ian Potter Foundation Children’s Garden. It is located just inside the gate that we normally enter the Botanic Gardens, behind the Old Melbourne Observatory. It was closed on Good Friday and quite a few groups of disappointed young families congregated at its little front gate when we walked past. I will return on another day to take more photos and possibly blog about this little natural gem created for children to enjoy.

Note: I think I can see dead Sunflowers in one of my photos. LOL. I love the scarecrows.

Abandoned Blog?

I have managed to stay away from this blog for more than a week! No, it has not been deliberately abandoned. Not yet anyway. I have been very busy completing an assignment on top of my usual work commitments. I didn’t think that anyone would miss me because no one reads this blog anyway.

On Good Friday, Cameron and I went down to the gardens (Royal Botanic Gardens Melbourne) to do a bit of reading outdoors. It was a nice change, even though I do prefer doing my work at my desk. I love my big desk.

The following is a photo of the Old Melbourne Observatory. Here is where we normally enter the gardens, which is located at the back.

I Can Hear The Concert!!!!

I am not kidding but I can hear the Kiss concert from my balcony. I really should bash myself silly for not going to the Grand Prix. This is so not fair!!!!!!

Hamilton Won the Australian Grand Prix 2008!

I am so over the moon that Hamilton won the race. Yipeee! We didn't go to the Grand Prix this year and missed out on witnessing my current favourite driver winning the race. We didn't even go down to the Federation Square to watch it on the big screen as planned because it was simply too hot to do so. My favourite part of the race was when Heikki Kovalainen (sorry, if I got the spelling wrong) overtook Alonso during one of the final laps. The feeling was like throwing a pie on Alonso's pretty face. Unfortunately Kovalainen was unable to hold on for long and the current driver I dislike most over took him again. Oh, it was like someone just hit me in the stomach. It would have been such a good start to the year if Kovalainen held on. I can't wait to see what Hamilton will do in Malaysia next week.

PS. We really should all say Omedeto Gozaimasu to Nakajima of Williams. He hung in there and finished the race to pocket 2 points. LOL.

Thoughts about Autocratic Parenting

(Sorry, I just can’t stop ranting.)

I have seen many examples of parenting styles throughout the years of working as a nanny. Most families do not stick solely to just one style. The autocratic parents that I have worked for are mostly inconsistent. In fact, most of the parents I have worked for are just plain inconsistent when it comes to caring for their children. They are brilliant parents at times but they can go nuts over minor problems on some days. Suddenly, they expect their children to do as they were told. Once the bout is over, these parents are back to being relaxed and laid back again. It can be confusing for the children. I just find the ‘psychotic episodes’ educational. LOL

The visitors to Bree’s house got me thinking. I do not know them well. In fact, it was the first time we met. I therefore have no right to assume that the mother and son have episodes like the other day all the time. As a nanny, I have however worked in households where battles were a common occurrence. I find that autocratic parents, who subscribe to the ‘do-what-I-say’ approach, can make their children feel useless and/or terribly angry. Children growing up in such households can become super defiant towards anyone; especially people they think have some kind of authority over them. They bring with them a loaded bag of tricks to their school or the local playground to unleash their peers with hostility they have mastered from being on the receiving end at home. A typical reaction is to ostracize the offender but such a move can further damage the child’s social development.

Luckily, not all children go down the same road. Some just back down and become ‘good’ kids. These children behave like robots, doing everything as told with little to no resistance. This can lead parents into thinking that they have achieved some sort of success in creating an obedient child. Despite appearing fine, upon closer observation, these children lack self-confidence and do not view themselves positively. How could they possibly see themselves for what they truly are when they have been totally over-powered? Sometimes I wonder if such children want to even look at themselves or think for themselves. Why bother? Is it possible for them to become accustom to the rules controlling their lives?

An autocratic parenting style can also create sneaky children. They behave wonderfully in the presence of people they deem as ‘important’ but are actually the total opposite in ‘private’. They probably worry about not being loved or accepted by their parents if they behave not as expected. At the same time, they also learn to cover up their ‘tracks’ when they are up to no good. They probably also seek opportunities to be in situations where they can let their real personalities shine. If the relationship between parents and child is not strained because the child prefers the company of others, it can be ruined when the child’s ‘secret life’ is revealed. Someone I knew was like that. She was such a lovely girl. My mum used to talk highly about her. Behind our parents’ backs, she was the first to swear like a sailor, smoke, drink alcohol and dropped out of school at the end of Yr 10 because she was sick of playing her parents’ games. Her relationship with her parents has been rocky to this day.
There is a bit of a rebel, goody-two-shoes and sneaky weasel inside each and every one of us. It is typical for a child to display a minimal amount of defiance. This is especially common among toddlers and teenagers. In terms of being good, many busy adults have trouble seeing it, but the opposite of defiance happens more often than we give children credit. And who wouldn’t find at least one attempt to be sneaky if we search our own childhood recollections? Unfortunately, children who are genuinely affected by autocratic parenting display a greater amount of the behavioural issues mentioned above. It doesn’t just occur during specific developmental stages. In Alexandra’s case, her mum used to say, “It’s like there is no end to the terrible 2’s.” Alexandra was then approximately 5.5.

Trying all sorts of things (e.g. humiliations, rewards) to control children so they will do what we expect of them will not work. It may look like it is working but it is not effective on the long run. Apart from the problems mentioned above, others surface, including the possible destruction of the bond between parents and child. The parenting style of my current charges’ parents is very similar to mine. We believe in working cooperatively with the child. We try our best to guide them but at the same time we are also sensitive to the choices they make. For instance, before the visitors arrived, I did prep Bree about greeting and saying ‘Thank you’ but I never made it a demand. The little tot is free to decide. It was great that Bree behaved well but if she had refused or forgot to do what we discussed, I would have stepped in and greeted the visitors or thanked them for us. In doing that, I would have modelled to my young charge the kind of good manners we should all adopt. Our similar practice makes it very easy for me to support the parents’ hard work when it comes to the care of the children. I believe that our consistent approach also makes it less confusing to the children. Unless you have worked in households where your work is constantly undermined, you wouldn’t understand how relieved I am to be working for these two wonderful families.

Mental Block

Next week, the week before Easter weekend will be Stella’s final week for Term 1. Time really flies! The Supergirl has been in school for nearly a term. I have been searching my head for activity ideas with an Easter theme to do with the girls next week. It is hard to plan for two children who are at different stages of development. It has to be something that is not too easy for Stella or she might find it boring. At the same time, the activity must be easy enough for Bree to participate in at least part of it. I normally have tonnes of ideas but this mental block just won’t shift and it is hindering me from planning ahead. I wonder if they will enjoy making hats. Everyone in my group made hats for the Easter Parade when I was at Kindergarten. My mum had to help adjust the paper bag opening so my hat won’t fall through and cover my eyes. LOL.

The Easter weekend marks the start of Stella’s first school holidays. The family will be going to the country for the weekend and Stella won’t be back until the following Thursday. We have already discussed what she would like to do for the school holidays. She told me that she wanted to cook because we haven’t been doing much of that since she started school. We have even proceeded to picking out some things we want to make and the mother and daughter had already bought some of the required ingredients. Stella even proposed to let Bree do some of the cooking as well. LOL

Bree and her parents will be away for Easter as well but they will be back earlier. I will be back at work on the Tuesday, looking after Bree only until Thursday when Stella joins us again.

I think I will go surf the net to see what other Easter theme craft ideas are out there. There must be something that is simple enough for a toddler to do and yet challenging for a preppy. They have to make something similar because I think Bree’s parents weren’t very happy when Stella made some bangles using fluffy pipe-cleaners the other day. I think they feel that Bree was left out but that wasn’t the case. I just didn’t think the little toddler was developmentally ready to make the bangles and I didn’t want her to accidentally poke her eyes out with the pipe-cleaners either. Bree spent the time drawing. She absolutely loves to scribble with crayons these days.

$60 Poorer

We finally went to Moomba on Sunday evening. The heat kept us away in the day. After less than 15 minutes of wandering around, we paid $60 to go on the Slingshot ride, an exciting burst of a journey that lasted no more than a couple of minutes. It was a scary ride at first but after being flung upwards really high and then returned to bounce really high again; the ride just fizzled out afterwards. The second half of the ride felt like Cameron and I were just strapped side by side bouncing in a giant Jolly Jumper. LOL. Was it worth it? No, of course not! We walked away feeling like fools for wasting our money. My legs were a little wobbly after the ride and luckily, Cameron caught me just in time or everyone who stood around watching would have a big laugh witnessing me tumbling down the stairs to get off the platform. It was $60 for the ride but there were also t-shirts ($25 each) and DVD available for purchase. Luckily we didn’t pay for the extras. From memory, I think the ride was $90 last year. Nevertheless it was unbelievably crazy of me to waste money like that. No more! Moomba may be over for another year but come this weekend, we will be spending money again – the 2008 Australian Grand Prix is on again at Albert Park. Although I dislike the warm weather, I am secretly hoping that it will be so warm on the weekend that we don’t have to go. We haven’t bought tickets yet. Some warning bells have been ringing on and off inside me for the last couple of months. I kept thinking that we will be in some kind of financial turmoil. I even had a nightmare of Cameron buying a new car last night! This is why I am reluctant to part with any money lately.

I Love Being a Nanny

Spurred on by a few insensitive comments made by someone I barely knew, I decided to write this piece to broadcast to the world my passion in working with little children. Let me just remind the world one more time that being a nanny is not just about changing nappies. There is more to it. I love being a nanny, caring for little children in the security of their own homes. In my opinion, little children should ideally grow up in a small family setting until they are at least 3 or 4 before they are gradually introduced to regular organized programmes in the wider community. Ideally, children should also be cared for by their own parents but sometimes this is not possible if they both work or are operating some kind of business. The parents I work for can afford nannies and they prefer to have one other regular carer looking after their child or children in the comfort of their own homes. Little children are better cared for by a few regular carers (e.g. parents + nanny) as this will help them to establish strong bonds and trust. Babies and toddlers are very generous, loving little beings. If encouraged, they love their nannies just as much as their other primary caregivers (e.g. parents).

Before reading the next part, I just would like to remind everyone that I am aware that most people can’t afford to hire a nanny and there are people out there who are strongly against the idea of having a ‘stranger’ looking after their own precious little ones in the family home.

Sometimes, people argue that it is important to drop their children off at a day care centre for socialization purposes. In my experience, I find that the socialization aspects of my charges are not compromised just because they spend most of the weekdays with me. They do play with other children in the park and on days spent with their parents when I am not there, my charges do play with the children of family friends. Most have some kind of regular get togethers with other children. My current charges are single children without siblings and yet both Bree and Stella are sociable little beings. Each child has a strong natural bond with her parents and bonding with their nanny is just a natural extension of the same process. The parents and I work together to foster good self-esteem and independence in the girls to prepare them for when they join other children in the outside world. Already we are seeing how Stella is not easily swayed by the opinions of her new friends at the primary school. Interacting with people of different ages (e.g. me, siblings and other people) is a form of communication that I strongly encourage all of my charges to do. (How often do we see a work environment where everyone is of the same age?) Such experiences will give children a feel of what is comfortable and what is not while still being supervised. Imagining young children being cared for long hours in a large noisy setting where everyone, except the carers, is of similar age group is nightmarish to me. They deserve to spend at least a few of their early years discovering themselves, connecting with their home environment and practising social interactions in small ‘controlled’ doses. Children who are too young or not yet ready to handle such situations are not only immersed in chaos each day but are also likely to become preoccupied with conforming to gain peer acceptance or become easily confused by conflicting values. Again I must stress that I am aware that not everyone can afford a nanny. Parents have to make the most out of the options available to them.

One of the insensitive comments I received compared a nanny like me to servants working in neighbouring countries. I find that very hurtful considering that it came from someone I barely knew. This was not a comment left in my blog. The person was a friend of a neighbour. She knew very little about what my work entails. She definitely wouldn’t have a clue of what I offer my charges. I do not just mind them, feed them and keep them clean and out of trouble until the parents come home. That is easy work but I do more to teach my little charges, helping them to become independent individuals. For instance, instead of serving them like they are totally helpless, I observe and provide developmentally appropriate opportunities for them to learn to help themselves. Let me tell you that teaching a little tot how to prepare her own jam penny involves more work and preparation than just shoving a ready made one in front of the child during snack time. Despite the extra work, I absolutely enjoy teaching children little things like this. It is such a delightful sight to see a happy child beaming with pride because she learned to make her own simple snack and made more to share with me or with her parents. I wouldn’t have done it for so long if I didn’t enjoy what I am doing. I can honestly declare to the world that my current position is not a form of modern day slavery. Mind you, there are parents out there who are capable of turning a job like mine into hell simply because they are in the position of hiring a nanny. It is the parents, not the children that are usually the troublemakers and I have seen quite a few ugly parents.

I have learned a lot from being a nanny. One day, all the hands on experiences of dealing with little children will no doubt become handy when I am blessed with my own little ones. As for the ugly parenting that I have witnessed, I am adamant to never apply them to anyone’s children, let alone mine. Despite my enjoyment, my career as a nanny will not go on forever. The biological clock is ticking louder than ever. Hopefully my side project will take flight making it possible for a smooth transition to a new career in the near future. The road ahead is likely to be bumpy but we are becoming readier than ever to take on this next adventure that we have been working on for so long. Meanwhile I will just enjoy the rest of my time playing nanny to Stella and Bree.

I apologise to those of you who find this post long and too full of rants. I just need to get it off my chest. I do not wish to offend parents of children in day care centres or child care workers out there but those are my opinions and everyone is entitled to have their own. If you disagree with my views then let’s just agree to disagree.

Moomba 2008 It's On Again!

Who doesn't love long weekends? I absolutely look forward to them these days. I was itching to go to Moomba all day but stayed home to get some studies done. We did go and have a little look on Friday evening when we were on our way out for dinner in the city but there wasn't much going on at the time. It was like no one was aware that Moomba is on again. We will definitely be going tomorrow. I am quite tempted to go on the big slingshot ride. Sorry, I don't know the name for the ride but it does look like the riders get blasted from a giant slingshot. That is just so cool!

Here Comes the Competitions, Bonnie!

Bonnie and baby Nicholas went to a get together at a friend’s house last weekend. Everyone invited turned up with their babies or toddlers. Another friend and I were also invited but we stayed away. I didn’t feel comfortable turning up without any children of my own. It was nice of them to include those of us who have not started a family yet.

Bonnie gave me a call that evening. There was literally no greeting and the woman just started yakking away. The following is roughly part of the conversation that took place.

Bonnie: At what age do babies begin to roll over?
(I didn’t respond because I was wondering why she was asking about this without even greeting?)

Bonnie: Hellooo, are you still there @#%*-@#%*? Please don’t even try to be PC about it.

Me: What?

Bonnie: Oh just tell me. I can handle it.

Me: Both you and I know that each child is an individual and will therefore develop at his or her own rate.

Bonnie: Oh! I just told you not to be PC about it.

Me: I am not trying to be PC. Why?

Bonnie: I can’t find my copy of Baby and Child book. I think I left it at mum’s house. Do you know in which month do babies begin to roll over?

(I decided to annoy her further. LOL.)
Me: Well, like I said, it all depends on the child.

Bonnie: Ok, so I gather that you can’t remember. When did Bree roll? Do you remember?

Me: Why? Is Nicholas rolling? LOL

Bonnie: R* said that her little boy was rolling at 4 months. Do you believe that? Nicholas is three months now and he is definitely not showing any signs of rolling. I am pretty sure that babies are not rolling until around 7 months. Am I right?

Me: Does it matter when he starts to roll?

Bonnie: You are beginning to **** me. I know you are doing this deliberately to **** me. Just why do you ****** do it? Go on, just enlighten me, genius.

Me: Hey, where is Nicky? I thought you didn’t want to sound like the mum in the Ingham Chicken ad. (I laughed so hard that Cameron came to see what was going on.)

Bonnie: R* said that my honeymoon period will be over soon because if Nicky is anything like her son, he will get into all sorts of mischief once he is mobile. I told her that it will be a while yet and she repeated that her little boy began to roll at 4 months and also added that he started to walk at 9.5 months! Someone else in the group dismissed what she said but she then turned to me, suggesting that I should consult the nurse to see if Nicholas is developing properly. That woman is just so annoying. You would think that she would have quit this type of **** by now.

Me: Don’t worry Bon-bon. R*’s little boy is probably going to grow up to be a gymnast or wrestler. Just look at how Nicholas can focus very well. He might grow up to be an Astro-physicist! Don’t let her bother you too much. Did you call someone else before calling me with your question? I feel great that you consider me even though I have no children. What can I possibly know?

Bonnie: Stop putting so much pressure on my little boy and stop putting yourself down. I actually wanted to pull over on the way home to call you but Nicky was fussing in his car seat. It is no fun driving with a crying baby. So, are you going to answer my question?

Me: From what I remember reading, babies usually start to show the urge to turn when they are around 5 – 5.5 months old. They then spend the next month or two practising to perfect the trick. Remember when I told you how I lost A* for a few minutes when she rolled under the couch and got stuck. She was watching me as I was looking for her everywhere. She was close to 7 months then. Bree only started to show interest to roll at about 6.5 months and no one was worried. So, don’t worry.

Bonnie: Hey, that happened to V*’s bubby as well, remember? I think she was under the coffee table. So, why didn’t you just answer me before?

In the rest of the conversation, Bonnie told me what else our friends have been talking about. The tendency to compete was never far away. Eventually the topic of choice was the importance of socialization. R* revealed that her little boy has a girl friend at the day care centre and that they get on very well because they learn to socialize from an early age. By the way, I think R*’s little boy is about 15-18 months old. Someone else talked about how her daughter has a roomful of little friends to grow up with. Then someone asked about the day care centre that R*’s little boy attends and the selling began. Bonnie was targeted particularly because Nicholas is still very young. Bonnie was told that if Nicholas was to have the type of social skills like that of R*’s little boy, she will have to act quick because the waiting list to good day care centres is long. R* even volunteered to enquire for Bonnie. When Bonnie declined, citing that she preferred to keep him at home until it is time for Kindergarten, she was told that she would live to regret for not prepping him. A couple of others suggested that she should at least consider gym or music classes! Why are parents rushing to all these structured lessons? Why do little children have to be entertained by the TV at home and then attend some kind of organized play outside? Why can’t we just leave children alone and let them discover the world gently in the years before they have to go to school? Do parents think that little children will learn nothing or miss out a lot if they don’t attend such classes? There are so many things that we can do at home with the toddler to help them learn and understand the world around them. There is no need to rush. All we (the carers/parents) have to do is to observe the child and offer him / her activities we think they are ready to experience. Mothers do not need a degree in Early Childhood Education to be their child/children’s first teacher at home. There is so much information available free online.

I Love South Melbourne’s Safeway

It is timely for us to say goodbye to our weekly shopping at Safeway @ QV. We have been shopping at QV since they opened their doors, even before the builders finished their job back in 2003. We love looking around Big W before popping over to Safeway for our groceries. The service at the award winning supermarket has been very good most of the time.

There is now a new Safeway in South Melbourne. It is a bigger store with wider aisles. Above the supermarket is another store that I love visiting, Spotlight. Across from the roundabout outside is the old South Melbourne Market. The strategic location of a variety of stores comes in handy depending on what I am hunting for at the time. We have already shopped at the new Safeway supermarket a few times. Despite minor hiccoughs at the checkouts due to less experienced checkout chicks (a couple of times only); this shop has won us over because it is much less crowded.

From our apartment, the walking distance to Safeway @ QV is roughly the same as the walking distance to South Melbourne’s Safeway. Getting to South Melbourne on foot may involve crossing the mighty busy Kings Way at the lights, but that beats jostling the crowds on the way to Safeway @ QV and then jostling with more people inside the supermarket. Safeway @ QV is like a permanent expo for products Australians use in their daily lives. It is not uncommon to find 5 or more people in a group studying and discussing a pack of Tim Tam or 6 people filing in to buy a litre of milk. What we find most amusing is when people can’t help but study not so discreetly the contents in our trolleys. I am not kidding. That really has happened at least 4 times! We recently enjoyed some relative peace at QV for nearly two months around Christmas time. This is an annual phenomenon. (I know why but do you?) The final straw came in the second week of February. We have had enough jostling with so many people. We need a break and luckily we have another Safeway nearby. We will definitely shop more at South Melbourne’s Safeway. It is just less stressful. Shopping shouldn’t be so stressful.