Here Comes the Competitions, Bonnie!

Bonnie and baby Nicholas went to a get together at a friend’s house last weekend. Everyone invited turned up with their babies or toddlers. Another friend and I were also invited but we stayed away. I didn’t feel comfortable turning up without any children of my own. It was nice of them to include those of us who have not started a family yet.

Bonnie gave me a call that evening. There was literally no greeting and the woman just started yakking away. The following is roughly part of the conversation that took place.

Bonnie: At what age do babies begin to roll over?
(I didn’t respond because I was wondering why she was asking about this without even greeting?)

Bonnie: Hellooo, are you still there @#%*-@#%*? Please don’t even try to be PC about it.

Me: What?

Bonnie: Oh just tell me. I can handle it.

Me: Both you and I know that each child is an individual and will therefore develop at his or her own rate.

Bonnie: Oh! I just told you not to be PC about it.

Me: I am not trying to be PC. Why?

Bonnie: I can’t find my copy of Baby and Child book. I think I left it at mum’s house. Do you know in which month do babies begin to roll over?

(I decided to annoy her further. LOL.)
Me: Well, like I said, it all depends on the child.

Bonnie: Ok, so I gather that you can’t remember. When did Bree roll? Do you remember?

Me: Why? Is Nicholas rolling? LOL

Bonnie: R* said that her little boy was rolling at 4 months. Do you believe that? Nicholas is three months now and he is definitely not showing any signs of rolling. I am pretty sure that babies are not rolling until around 7 months. Am I right?

Me: Does it matter when he starts to roll?

Bonnie: You are beginning to **** me. I know you are doing this deliberately to **** me. Just why do you ****** do it? Go on, just enlighten me, genius.

Me: Hey, where is Nicky? I thought you didn’t want to sound like the mum in the Ingham Chicken ad. (I laughed so hard that Cameron came to see what was going on.)

Bonnie: R* said that my honeymoon period will be over soon because if Nicky is anything like her son, he will get into all sorts of mischief once he is mobile. I told her that it will be a while yet and she repeated that her little boy began to roll at 4 months and also added that he started to walk at 9.5 months! Someone else in the group dismissed what she said but she then turned to me, suggesting that I should consult the nurse to see if Nicholas is developing properly. That woman is just so annoying. You would think that she would have quit this type of **** by now.

Me: Don’t worry Bon-bon. R*’s little boy is probably going to grow up to be a gymnast or wrestler. Just look at how Nicholas can focus very well. He might grow up to be an Astro-physicist! Don’t let her bother you too much. Did you call someone else before calling me with your question? I feel great that you consider me even though I have no children. What can I possibly know?

Bonnie: Stop putting so much pressure on my little boy and stop putting yourself down. I actually wanted to pull over on the way home to call you but Nicky was fussing in his car seat. It is no fun driving with a crying baby. So, are you going to answer my question?

Me: From what I remember reading, babies usually start to show the urge to turn when they are around 5 – 5.5 months old. They then spend the next month or two practising to perfect the trick. Remember when I told you how I lost A* for a few minutes when she rolled under the couch and got stuck. She was watching me as I was looking for her everywhere. She was close to 7 months then. Bree only started to show interest to roll at about 6.5 months and no one was worried. So, don’t worry.

Bonnie: Hey, that happened to V*’s bubby as well, remember? I think she was under the coffee table. So, why didn’t you just answer me before?

In the rest of the conversation, Bonnie told me what else our friends have been talking about. The tendency to compete was never far away. Eventually the topic of choice was the importance of socialization. R* revealed that her little boy has a girl friend at the day care centre and that they get on very well because they learn to socialize from an early age. By the way, I think R*’s little boy is about 15-18 months old. Someone else talked about how her daughter has a roomful of little friends to grow up with. Then someone asked about the day care centre that R*’s little boy attends and the selling began. Bonnie was targeted particularly because Nicholas is still very young. Bonnie was told that if Nicholas was to have the type of social skills like that of R*’s little boy, she will have to act quick because the waiting list to good day care centres is long. R* even volunteered to enquire for Bonnie. When Bonnie declined, citing that she preferred to keep him at home until it is time for Kindergarten, she was told that she would live to regret for not prepping him. A couple of others suggested that she should at least consider gym or music classes! Why are parents rushing to all these structured lessons? Why do little children have to be entertained by the TV at home and then attend some kind of organized play outside? Why can’t we just leave children alone and let them discover the world gently in the years before they have to go to school? Do parents think that little children will learn nothing or miss out a lot if they don’t attend such classes? There are so many things that we can do at home with the toddler to help them learn and understand the world around them. There is no need to rush. All we (the carers/parents) have to do is to observe the child and offer him / her activities we think they are ready to experience. Mothers do not need a degree in Early Childhood Education to be their child/children’s first teacher at home. There is so much information available free online.