Accepting Gifts – Flowers

Being a nanny, I receive gifts as tokens of appreciation from my employers. Being a nice nanny, I thank them each time for going out of their way to get me gifts. Being a nanny, I also receive different types of gifts. These are usually things that my employers no longer want. They range from theatre tickets to flowers and cakes. I always decline things like theatre tickets or vouchers. (How rude, huh?) I accept other little things. It makes them really happy to be able to ‘assist’ me.

In this post, the unique gift I will talk about is FLOWERS. Thoughtful employers who know me well will never buy me flowers. They definitely will not present me with a bouquet at this time of the year when I am usually suffering from hay fever even though I do try to keep my hay fever under control by taking medication. Because of side-effects, I sometimes try to go without my medication to see if I will be magically cured. It never works. In fact, come to think of it, my hay fever was especially bad in the years when I was looking after Alexandra and her siblings.

When I first started looking after Alexandra, I told her mum that I suffered from hay fever at the end of each year. It obviously didn’t bother them that much or they wouldn’t have hired me. Alexandra’s mum respected my problem with flowers at first. Then she started to drop hints about how bare her house looked without flower arrangements. I ignored her comments but my nose couldn’t stand the new flower arrangements popping up in my work environment (her home). With medication, my hay fever was just under control. Instead of just suffering from hay fever at the end of the year, it became a year long thing. I just had to put up with it quietly. In the last few months that I worked for this family, she presented flowers to me on two different occasions. The second one was given to me a few weeks after the first in October and November. In terms of hay fever, that is usually the worst time of the year for me. Being a nanny, I accepted these flowers graciously. I ought to be grateful when they were just trying to cheer up my miserable life. By the way, the flowers were not bought especially for me. The first bunch was a mini flower arrangement that had been sitting in the sister’s office since the Monday before they gave it to me on a Friday. The second one was a bouquet. Alexandra’s mum and aunt were meant to have lunch with a relative but that was cancelled. I was ‘lucky’ to be given the bouquet that was meant to be for the aunt in the first place.

The day I received the bouquet was also a Friday and she returned home late. Instead of leaving at 5:30 pm, I didn’t leave till nearly 7:00 pm. My friends were all waiting for me by the time I got home. Someone made a joke about the bouquet that I had in my hand when I walked in. My eyes were already watery because of it. That person made a comment about my employer’s bravery for giving me flowers again. Another person suggested that I should have thrown it away before entering the apartment complex.

On the following Monday, I was asked by Alexandra’s mum if I liked the flowers. I thanked her and then said the dumbest thing after that. I told her the casual comment made by my friend. That sent her up the roof. She turned around and told me sternly that I as an employee had no rights to choose what to be given and should be happy that I was given a gift at all. I wasn’t happy with what she said but I was angrier at myself for telling her that. I learned instantly that no matter how friendly my employers presented themselves to me, there will always be a line between us. I, as a nanny should never cross that line. I am usually pretty careful with what I have to say but I really don’t know what happened that time.

I will post a few other stories of accepting ‘unique’ gifts from Alexandra’s mum another time. I sometimes wondered if she was bullying me through kindness. Did she give me the flowers (knowing full well that I suffered from hay fever) just like how she added the mini Nuttela packs into Alexandra’s lunch box (knowing full well that the little girl’s kindergarten is a Nut Free zone)?