Keeping a Work Diary & the Hazard of Doing So!

I have always requested each family that I work for to supply me with a diary to jot down the child’s/children’s progress during the day. I see it as a way to communicate to the parents because at the end of the day, most parents are so tired from a full working day that I may not have the opportunity to tell them all of the interesting news. I must state that this form of communication does not take over the face to face conversation with the parents, which is essential. There are times when urgent issues have to be dealt with a quick conversation right away.

Some of the things that I write down are details of food and liquid intake, interesting developmental milestones, toileting progress, symptoms of any illness and in babies, I jot down their bowel movements (especially on sick days). I also write about any activities (e.g. art, outdoor play, etc) completed by the child and the child’s mood throughout the day. With siblings, I also write about their relationship with each other on the very day. Not everything I report is bad. Parents love to read about how well their children are getting along. However, I am always truthful and I do not try to hide certain facts just because parents may find it stressful.

Here comes a story… When I used to look after Alexandra and her siblings, their aunt sometimes arranged for her daughter, Bella to drop by for a few hours. Both mums seemed to think that Bella would benefit from playing with Alexandra. I have warned both mums that I may not be able to cope if Alexandra was going to have a ‘rough’ day. They didn’t seem to mind. This used to happened more so after the birth of Sharky (Bella’s sister). Alexandra, the tricky girl, was always up to some kind of mischief. She would attack Bella almost always when I had to tend to baby Millie (or later baby Olivia). I could never quite tell the other times when Alexandra would attack. She could be giving Bella cuddles one minute and then head butting her the next minute. I needed to write in the diary about these occasions because I had to report any bruises or cuts that came as the result of such attacks. Bella’s dad used to read certain details religiously. He used to get very upset reading about Bella being bullied. He didn’t blame me for anything that happened. Instead he began to casually embarrass Alexandra’s parents during family get togethers. I was instructed by Alexandra’s parents to stop writing about Bella when she was over at their place because she was only a guest. Bella’s dad soon caught on that I wasn’t reporting anything about Bella’s afternoon at Alexandra’s house. One day when I was looking after Bella and baby Sharky at their own home, he deliberately stayed home longer to find out what was happening. He asked me if I was asked not to write anything about Bella. I didn’t say anything but my body language must have given it away. He said he will ask his wife to take Bella and Sharky’s diary with her the next time she dropped Bella off at Alexandra’s home. I was requested to fill in the details in that diary. I thought that was that. A couple of weekends later, this large prominent family had a get together for someone’s birthday. Alexandra pushed Bella over and this led to Bella’s dad challenging Alexandra’s mum with a question: “How much extra are you paying the nanny to stop reporting such incidents?” Arrrgh! PARENTS! Needless to say I was questioned as to whether I had told him that I was paid extra to zip up.

The story above did not put me off requesting subsequent families to supply me with diaries. The current families that I work for are very happy about this. The diaries are giving them an insight of their daughters’ lives when they aren’t home. Stella’s dad has already decided to read parts of it on her 21st birthday. I have been told how children that I have previously looked after have dug out their diaries in order to read about their past as babies and toddlers. I wonder how many grammatical and spelling mistakes of mine that they found.