Stella received a surprise package last Friday. She went with her mum after school to the post office to pick it up. It was a DVD of ‘The Fairies’ – a popular children’s TV show. Now, one would think that a child of Stella’s age would be pleading to rush home to put the DVD on; the Supergirl actually did the opposite. I wasn’t looking after her that day. After getting her hair cut and dropping by the home of her mother’s client before picking up the fish n’ chips order, Stella had forgotten all about the DVD. It was after she had gone to bed that her mum remembered, when her dad asked about the parcel.
Stella’s mum offered to put on the DVD for her after lunch on Saturday. She took the DVD case to study it. She loves reading anything and everything these days. According to her mum, Stella probably watched 10-15 minutes of the show. When her parents emerged from the study, Stella was over at the art area painting. They asked if she would like to have it turned off and watch it later. Stella replied that she would like to have it on. While her mum was reading the day’s newspaper, she also observed Stella. She told me that Stella didn’t pay attention to the DVD at all. After the painting, Stella went on to play with her doll and then begged her dad for a game of Uno. While waiting for her dad, she chatted to her mum. And when her dad finally came out to join them, the family played Uno. At some point, the show finished. Stella went over to turn it off. She was heard saying, “Oh, it’s finally finished!”
The TV is turned on all hours in many families. It is used to entertain children all day long. Stella’s parents limited TV viewing since she was born. They do this by limiting their own viewing while she is awake as well. A friend of mine who lives in northern country Victoria did the same. Her six year old never acquired the taste to watch TV all day or for long periods. He too has a tendency to quit, preferring to ‘work’ outside after just 10-15 minutes of viewing. A family that I used to work for years ago live in a big house with only one little TV in the family room. The mother made it a conscious effort that TV would not play a big role in their family life. The family can well afford their own mini cinema if they wanted to but the mother told me that she purposely bought the smallest TV available to make it look unimportant. It must be hard planning for children living in Mc Mansions equipped with their own personal in-house entertainment room and TVs or other electronic entertainment fitted in almost every other room throughout the house. That’s a nightmare! Imagine sitting down with 4 children to organize their weekly TV/Media schedules. People actually do this. I read about this suggestion somewhere. I guess being prepared in advance is way better than to fight the children over movies and time permitted every night.
Thursday, 20 March 2008
Wednesday, 19 March 2008
Decorating Easter Egg Shapes
After last week’s mental block, this is the Easter theme craft that I planned for the girls to make. It is similar to the bauble shapes that Stella and I made for Christmas except that I cut out the shapes at home. Stella’s mum bought some blank ready made bauble shape cards after Christmas. So, I am pretty sure that there are stores out there selling blank ready made egg shape cards to make life easy. Well, since I have surplus cardstock at home, I decided to trace the egg shapes and cut them out myself. Because I also have pink cardstock leftover, I also punched out some circle shapes for the activity. This saved me a few $$.
I originally planned to do this activity on Thursday because it is the last day of work for me this week. We had to do this activity today because Stella is invited to a birthday party after school on Thursday. The following are the steps to how we decorated the eggs.
1. Have the children dab a little bit of Clag glue on each little pink circular shape and then sprinkle each with some glitter. These are then left to dry. (Bree didn’t want to do it because she didn’t like the glitter getting stuck on her fingers while Stella can’t have enough glitter.)
2. At the table, have the children decorate the egg shapes with crayons. (I offered only darker colours. I cut out only 9 egg shapes for the 3 of us to decorate. Bree’s attempts were mostly scribbles going back and forth, and some irregular circular scribble. Stella’s attempts were of course more advance. Hers included her own name, heart shapes, multi-coloured confetti marks, uniform stripes from left to right, etc.)
3. Explain to the children that we are going to paint the egg shapes with runny paint and explain the need to wear a smock. (Luckily, I remembered to bring Bree’s smock to Stella’s house!)
4. Mix the paints with a little help from the children. (Stella suggested green. The girls took turns adding a little water into the bowl that I was stirring. As predicted, Bree added too much water despite being told to stop pouring and laughed her little head off. LOL. I ended up halving that and then added a bit more paint to achieve what we needed.)
5. Encourage each child to paint the egg shapes with the runny paint. Assure them that the patterns they drew earlier on will show through even if they paint over them. (Bree needed no reassurance. She painted not only the eggs but the newspaper lining the table as well. LOL) (Note: Because the egg shapes weren’t cut out of heavy cardstock, I had to watch the amount of paint each girl applied on each shape to prevent it from curling later on.)
6. The shapes are then left to dry and clean up can begin in the meantime. (It took a little longer than expected for the shapes to dry up. The girls left to play with Stella’s felt storyboards.)
7. Once the egg shapes and the circular shapes sprinkled with glitter were all dried, invite the children to dab a little bit of glue at the back of the glittery circles and paste them onto the eggs to make them even more beautiful. (Bree pasted only one circle per egg and she decorated 3 eggs altogether. On the other hand, Stella the glitter girl had to curb the urge from pasting the rest of the glittery circles on the eggs she decorated. I had to remind her that if she covered the eggs with too many glittery circles, no one will be able to see her artwork on the egg shapes.)
I wasn’t very optimistic about this activity at first because I didn’t think Stella would enjoy something like this again but I was wrong. This activity turned out to be fun for both girls. Their parents gave the thumbs up approval as well. It is easy to please some parents.
Note: For this activity to work, it is important that the children do not colour in the entire egg shape, leaving no blank space with their crayons. When painting the egg shape with the runny paint, they are actually painting the spaces in between their drawings – areas not covered by the crayons.
I originally planned to do this activity on Thursday because it is the last day of work for me this week. We had to do this activity today because Stella is invited to a birthday party after school on Thursday. The following are the steps to how we decorated the eggs.
1. Have the children dab a little bit of Clag glue on each little pink circular shape and then sprinkle each with some glitter. These are then left to dry. (Bree didn’t want to do it because she didn’t like the glitter getting stuck on her fingers while Stella can’t have enough glitter.)
2. At the table, have the children decorate the egg shapes with crayons. (I offered only darker colours. I cut out only 9 egg shapes for the 3 of us to decorate. Bree’s attempts were mostly scribbles going back and forth, and some irregular circular scribble. Stella’s attempts were of course more advance. Hers included her own name, heart shapes, multi-coloured confetti marks, uniform stripes from left to right, etc.)
3. Explain to the children that we are going to paint the egg shapes with runny paint and explain the need to wear a smock. (Luckily, I remembered to bring Bree’s smock to Stella’s house!)
4. Mix the paints with a little help from the children. (Stella suggested green. The girls took turns adding a little water into the bowl that I was stirring. As predicted, Bree added too much water despite being told to stop pouring and laughed her little head off. LOL. I ended up halving that and then added a bit more paint to achieve what we needed.)
5. Encourage each child to paint the egg shapes with the runny paint. Assure them that the patterns they drew earlier on will show through even if they paint over them. (Bree needed no reassurance. She painted not only the eggs but the newspaper lining the table as well. LOL) (Note: Because the egg shapes weren’t cut out of heavy cardstock, I had to watch the amount of paint each girl applied on each shape to prevent it from curling later on.)
6. The shapes are then left to dry and clean up can begin in the meantime. (It took a little longer than expected for the shapes to dry up. The girls left to play with Stella’s felt storyboards.)
7. Once the egg shapes and the circular shapes sprinkled with glitter were all dried, invite the children to dab a little bit of glue at the back of the glittery circles and paste them onto the eggs to make them even more beautiful. (Bree pasted only one circle per egg and she decorated 3 eggs altogether. On the other hand, Stella the glitter girl had to curb the urge from pasting the rest of the glittery circles on the eggs she decorated. I had to remind her that if she covered the eggs with too many glittery circles, no one will be able to see her artwork on the egg shapes.)
I wasn’t very optimistic about this activity at first because I didn’t think Stella would enjoy something like this again but I was wrong. This activity turned out to be fun for both girls. Their parents gave the thumbs up approval as well. It is easy to please some parents.
Note: For this activity to work, it is important that the children do not colour in the entire egg shape, leaving no blank space with their crayons. When painting the egg shape with the runny paint, they are actually painting the spaces in between their drawings – areas not covered by the crayons.
Play Dough Easter Eggs in a Basket
The girls didn’t venture outdoors on Monday. It was just too hot. I suggested to the girls that we could make Easter eggs using the play dough in the fridge. This is an easy activity for Bree and she loves playing with play dough. The fact that Stella’s dough is always kept refrigerated in the warmer months also made the activity more fun. It is easy for anyone to learn to roll a piece of dough into a sphere shape but it is a little trickier to create egg shapes. Most of the girls’ eggs were spherical and a few were actually pretty well formed ovoids. The eggs didn’t have to be perfect. I was most happy to see the girls enjoying themselves.
While Bree was still happy playing with the play dough, Stella and I looked in her art cupboard for some construction paper to make simple baskets for the eggs. Bree didn’t participate in making the baskets but she did pick the colours for her basket when I asked her to. Bree picked yellow and orange, and Stella picked red and yellow. We needed two pieces of construction paper for each basket because they are not as strong as cardboard/cardstock. Stella was in charge of her own basket, following my suggestions as I made Bree’s. We used double sided sticky tape to adhere the two pieces of paper together to become one and then drew lines like I did. This was done step by step and Stella enjoyed every bit of it. Then I showed the Supergirl how to fold along the lines on all sides. Bree stopped playing with the dough and came over to have a look at what we were up to. After that we got the scissors out to cut the areas near the corners that needed to be cut. Bree sat there mumbling, “Sharp. It’s sharp.” LOL. Once the cutting was done, we had to put away the scissors again. We never used to have to do this in the past but now that Bree is here in the afternoons, we have to be careful. In doing this, Stella is learning to be neat, considerate and thoughtful. The final step to completing the basket’s body was to bring the corners together to be stapled together. As a precaution, I used normal sticky tape to cover the staples inside the baskets.
Thinking that the baskets were complete, the overexcited Stella rushed off to gather the play dough eggs she made earlier. Bree copied her. I asked Stella, “Hey Stella, come and have a look at the baskets. Do you think something is missing?” She came back to have a look and answered, “Oh, I forgot to write my name.” Before I got a chance to say anything else, Stella added, “I will use the new pink pen mummy bought me. I will write Bree’s name, okay? I know how to spell it. She has two ‘e’s in her name. It is like the word ‘green’.” When she came back with the pen, I asked her if there is anything else we can add to the basket to make it easier to hold. I suggested that she think about baskets holding chocolate Easter eggs and proceeded to the art cupboard. She came over and asked, “Do you mean we should add a loop, @#%*-@#%*? We will need ribbons for that.” In reply, I said, “I think the baskets could do with some handles. Shall we try making them with the same construction paper to see if it will work?” (Duh, I already knew it would work!) I didn’t have to invite Bree to pick a colour this time; she was already right next to the cupboard. She found a piece of green cellophane inside Stella’s useful box and was looking around the room through it.
The handles for the basket was easy to make. We just folded the paper lengthwise four times and then stapled each end to opposite sides of the basket. Again, I sticky taped the sharp ends of the staples as a precaution. Before stapling the handles, I demonstrated to Stella how each would look and only then did I invite her to use her new pen to write their names on the handles. While we were folding the paper, Bree wanted to join in. I got her a piece of paper for a bit of folding as well. She didn’t quite get what we were doing and was happy to simply fold the paper without following any directions. I try my best to involve Bree as much as possible. The things that I do with Stella are often not developmentally appropriate for Bree but I do try to allow her to do something similar on the side without following the same directions as Stella. To me, it is important that she is having fun and has the opportunities to observe what others are doing and to work with her hands.
Note: I did try to include a template for the paper basket in this blog but it is not working. How annoying!
While Bree was still happy playing with the play dough, Stella and I looked in her art cupboard for some construction paper to make simple baskets for the eggs. Bree didn’t participate in making the baskets but she did pick the colours for her basket when I asked her to. Bree picked yellow and orange, and Stella picked red and yellow. We needed two pieces of construction paper for each basket because they are not as strong as cardboard/cardstock. Stella was in charge of her own basket, following my suggestions as I made Bree’s. We used double sided sticky tape to adhere the two pieces of paper together to become one and then drew lines like I did. This was done step by step and Stella enjoyed every bit of it. Then I showed the Supergirl how to fold along the lines on all sides. Bree stopped playing with the dough and came over to have a look at what we were up to. After that we got the scissors out to cut the areas near the corners that needed to be cut. Bree sat there mumbling, “Sharp. It’s sharp.” LOL. Once the cutting was done, we had to put away the scissors again. We never used to have to do this in the past but now that Bree is here in the afternoons, we have to be careful. In doing this, Stella is learning to be neat, considerate and thoughtful. The final step to completing the basket’s body was to bring the corners together to be stapled together. As a precaution, I used normal sticky tape to cover the staples inside the baskets.
Thinking that the baskets were complete, the overexcited Stella rushed off to gather the play dough eggs she made earlier. Bree copied her. I asked Stella, “Hey Stella, come and have a look at the baskets. Do you think something is missing?” She came back to have a look and answered, “Oh, I forgot to write my name.” Before I got a chance to say anything else, Stella added, “I will use the new pink pen mummy bought me. I will write Bree’s name, okay? I know how to spell it. She has two ‘e’s in her name. It is like the word ‘green’.” When she came back with the pen, I asked her if there is anything else we can add to the basket to make it easier to hold. I suggested that she think about baskets holding chocolate Easter eggs and proceeded to the art cupboard. She came over and asked, “Do you mean we should add a loop, @#%*-@#%*? We will need ribbons for that.” In reply, I said, “I think the baskets could do with some handles. Shall we try making them with the same construction paper to see if it will work?” (Duh, I already knew it would work!) I didn’t have to invite Bree to pick a colour this time; she was already right next to the cupboard. She found a piece of green cellophane inside Stella’s useful box and was looking around the room through it.
The handles for the basket was easy to make. We just folded the paper lengthwise four times and then stapled each end to opposite sides of the basket. Again, I sticky taped the sharp ends of the staples as a precaution. Before stapling the handles, I demonstrated to Stella how each would look and only then did I invite her to use her new pen to write their names on the handles. While we were folding the paper, Bree wanted to join in. I got her a piece of paper for a bit of folding as well. She didn’t quite get what we were doing and was happy to simply fold the paper without following any directions. I try my best to involve Bree as much as possible. The things that I do with Stella are often not developmentally appropriate for Bree but I do try to allow her to do something similar on the side without following the same directions as Stella. To me, it is important that she is having fun and has the opportunities to observe what others are doing and to work with her hands.
Note: I did try to include a template for the paper basket in this blog but it is not working. How annoying!
Sunday, 16 March 2008
I Can Hear The Concert!!!!
I am not kidding but I can hear the Kiss concert from my balcony. I really should bash myself silly for not going to the Grand Prix. This is so not fair!!!!!!
Hamilton Won the Australian Grand Prix 2008!
I am so over the moon that Hamilton won the race. Yipeee! We didn't go to the Grand Prix this year and missed out on witnessing my current favourite driver winning the race. We didn't even go down to the Federation Square to watch it on the big screen as planned because it was simply too hot to do so. My favourite part of the race was when Heikki Kovalainen (sorry, if I got the spelling wrong) overtook Alonso during one of the final laps. The feeling was like throwing a pie on Alonso's pretty face. Unfortunately Kovalainen was unable to hold on for long and the current driver I dislike most over took him again. Oh, it was like someone just hit me in the stomach. It would have been such a good start to the year if Kovalainen held on. I can't wait to see what Hamilton will do in Malaysia next week.
PS. We really should all say Omedeto Gozaimasu to Nakajima of Williams. He hung in there and finished the race to pocket 2 points. LOL.
Thoughts about Autocratic Parenting
(Sorry, I just can’t stop ranting.)
I have seen many examples of parenting styles throughout the years of working as a nanny. Most families do not stick solely to just one style. The autocratic parents that I have worked for are mostly inconsistent. In fact, most of the parents I have worked for are just plain inconsistent when it comes to caring for their children. They are brilliant parents at times but they can go nuts over minor problems on some days. Suddenly, they expect their children to do as they were told. Once the bout is over, these parents are back to being relaxed and laid back again. It can be confusing for the children. I just find the ‘psychotic episodes’ educational. LOL
The visitors to Bree’s house got me thinking. I do not know them well. In fact, it was the first time we met. I therefore have no right to assume that the mother and son have episodes like the other day all the time. As a nanny, I have however worked in households where battles were a common occurrence. I find that autocratic parents, who subscribe to the ‘do-what-I-say’ approach, can make their children feel useless and/or terribly angry. Children growing up in such households can become super defiant towards anyone; especially people they think have some kind of authority over them. They bring with them a loaded bag of tricks to their school or the local playground to unleash their peers with hostility they have mastered from being on the receiving end at home. A typical reaction is to ostracize the offender but such a move can further damage the child’s social development.
Luckily, not all children go down the same road. Some just back down and become ‘good’ kids. These children behave like robots, doing everything as told with little to no resistance. This can lead parents into thinking that they have achieved some sort of success in creating an obedient child. Despite appearing fine, upon closer observation, these children lack self-confidence and do not view themselves positively. How could they possibly see themselves for what they truly are when they have been totally over-powered? Sometimes I wonder if such children want to even look at themselves or think for themselves. Why bother? Is it possible for them to become accustom to the rules controlling their lives?
An autocratic parenting style can also create sneaky children. They behave wonderfully in the presence of people they deem as ‘important’ but are actually the total opposite in ‘private’. They probably worry about not being loved or accepted by their parents if they behave not as expected. At the same time, they also learn to cover up their ‘tracks’ when they are up to no good. They probably also seek opportunities to be in situations where they can let their real personalities shine. If the relationship between parents and child is not strained because the child prefers the company of others, it can be ruined when the child’s ‘secret life’ is revealed. Someone I knew was like that. She was such a lovely girl. My mum used to talk highly about her. Behind our parents’ backs, she was the first to swear like a sailor, smoke, drink alcohol and dropped out of school at the end of Yr 10 because she was sick of playing her parents’ games. Her relationship with her parents has been rocky to this day.
There is a bit of a rebel, goody-two-shoes and sneaky weasel inside each and every one of us. It is typical for a child to display a minimal amount of defiance. This is especially common among toddlers and teenagers. In terms of being good, many busy adults have trouble seeing it, but the opposite of defiance happens more often than we give children credit. And who wouldn’t find at least one attempt to be sneaky if we search our own childhood recollections? Unfortunately, children who are genuinely affected by autocratic parenting display a greater amount of the behavioural issues mentioned above. It doesn’t just occur during specific developmental stages. In Alexandra’s case, her mum used to say, “It’s like there is no end to the terrible 2’s.” Alexandra was then approximately 5.5.
Trying all sorts of things (e.g. humiliations, rewards) to control children so they will do what we expect of them will not work. It may look like it is working but it is not effective on the long run. Apart from the problems mentioned above, others surface, including the possible destruction of the bond between parents and child. The parenting style of my current charges’ parents is very similar to mine. We believe in working cooperatively with the child. We try our best to guide them but at the same time we are also sensitive to the choices they make. For instance, before the visitors arrived, I did prep Bree about greeting and saying ‘Thank you’ but I never made it a demand. The little tot is free to decide. It was great that Bree behaved well but if she had refused or forgot to do what we discussed, I would have stepped in and greeted the visitors or thanked them for us. In doing that, I would have modelled to my young charge the kind of good manners we should all adopt. Our similar practice makes it very easy for me to support the parents’ hard work when it comes to the care of the children. I believe that our consistent approach also makes it less confusing to the children. Unless you have worked in households where your work is constantly undermined, you wouldn’t understand how relieved I am to be working for these two wonderful families.
I have seen many examples of parenting styles throughout the years of working as a nanny. Most families do not stick solely to just one style. The autocratic parents that I have worked for are mostly inconsistent. In fact, most of the parents I have worked for are just plain inconsistent when it comes to caring for their children. They are brilliant parents at times but they can go nuts over minor problems on some days. Suddenly, they expect their children to do as they were told. Once the bout is over, these parents are back to being relaxed and laid back again. It can be confusing for the children. I just find the ‘psychotic episodes’ educational. LOL
The visitors to Bree’s house got me thinking. I do not know them well. In fact, it was the first time we met. I therefore have no right to assume that the mother and son have episodes like the other day all the time. As a nanny, I have however worked in households where battles were a common occurrence. I find that autocratic parents, who subscribe to the ‘do-what-I-say’ approach, can make their children feel useless and/or terribly angry. Children growing up in such households can become super defiant towards anyone; especially people they think have some kind of authority over them. They bring with them a loaded bag of tricks to their school or the local playground to unleash their peers with hostility they have mastered from being on the receiving end at home. A typical reaction is to ostracize the offender but such a move can further damage the child’s social development.
Luckily, not all children go down the same road. Some just back down and become ‘good’ kids. These children behave like robots, doing everything as told with little to no resistance. This can lead parents into thinking that they have achieved some sort of success in creating an obedient child. Despite appearing fine, upon closer observation, these children lack self-confidence and do not view themselves positively. How could they possibly see themselves for what they truly are when they have been totally over-powered? Sometimes I wonder if such children want to even look at themselves or think for themselves. Why bother? Is it possible for them to become accustom to the rules controlling their lives?
An autocratic parenting style can also create sneaky children. They behave wonderfully in the presence of people they deem as ‘important’ but are actually the total opposite in ‘private’. They probably worry about not being loved or accepted by their parents if they behave not as expected. At the same time, they also learn to cover up their ‘tracks’ when they are up to no good. They probably also seek opportunities to be in situations where they can let their real personalities shine. If the relationship between parents and child is not strained because the child prefers the company of others, it can be ruined when the child’s ‘secret life’ is revealed. Someone I knew was like that. She was such a lovely girl. My mum used to talk highly about her. Behind our parents’ backs, she was the first to swear like a sailor, smoke, drink alcohol and dropped out of school at the end of Yr 10 because she was sick of playing her parents’ games. Her relationship with her parents has been rocky to this day.
There is a bit of a rebel, goody-two-shoes and sneaky weasel inside each and every one of us. It is typical for a child to display a minimal amount of defiance. This is especially common among toddlers and teenagers. In terms of being good, many busy adults have trouble seeing it, but the opposite of defiance happens more often than we give children credit. And who wouldn’t find at least one attempt to be sneaky if we search our own childhood recollections? Unfortunately, children who are genuinely affected by autocratic parenting display a greater amount of the behavioural issues mentioned above. It doesn’t just occur during specific developmental stages. In Alexandra’s case, her mum used to say, “It’s like there is no end to the terrible 2’s.” Alexandra was then approximately 5.5.
Trying all sorts of things (e.g. humiliations, rewards) to control children so they will do what we expect of them will not work. It may look like it is working but it is not effective on the long run. Apart from the problems mentioned above, others surface, including the possible destruction of the bond between parents and child. The parenting style of my current charges’ parents is very similar to mine. We believe in working cooperatively with the child. We try our best to guide them but at the same time we are also sensitive to the choices they make. For instance, before the visitors arrived, I did prep Bree about greeting and saying ‘Thank you’ but I never made it a demand. The little tot is free to decide. It was great that Bree behaved well but if she had refused or forgot to do what we discussed, I would have stepped in and greeted the visitors or thanked them for us. In doing that, I would have modelled to my young charge the kind of good manners we should all adopt. Our similar practice makes it very easy for me to support the parents’ hard work when it comes to the care of the children. I believe that our consistent approach also makes it less confusing to the children. Unless you have worked in households where your work is constantly undermined, you wouldn’t understand how relieved I am to be working for these two wonderful families.
Saturday, 15 March 2008
Got Me Thinking about Alexandra
Warning: This is another long post!
The behaviour of the little visitor that came with his mum to Bree’s house reminded me of an ex-charge of mine. When I was looking after tricky Alexandra, who can be very rebellious at times, her mum used to force her to thank me or to apologise to me in applicable situations. At times, Alexandra stood defiantly rebelling against her mum’s requests and then demands. Her mum used to react to this by pleading, threatening and then embarrassing the child. What did this nanny do? I stood with a blank facial expression or acted like I was bored. There was nothing I could do. In that household, I was not expected to take up the role of Supernanny and start giving suggestions, especially in situations like this. When the parents were in the mood to ‘listen’ to me, my suggestions were usually rejected or they just went in one ear and out the other. At times Alexandra would give in to her mum and say what was expected of her but this was usually done without sincerity or meaning. In my opinion, that type of response was meaningless but her mum would usually accept them and move on. Other times, Alexandra would do battle to the end and refuse point blank to do what was expected of her. Her mum would usually back down especially if it was time for me to leave. On at least two occasions, she explained her daughter’s personality as stubborn, a highly valuable trait if she was to grow up to work at her dad’s business. She said the same when explaining Alexandra’s bullying tactics at the Early Learning Centre she attended at the time. On another occasion, she said that hired help shouldn’t be expecting to be thanked all the time because they are just doing their job. She looked a little embarrassed after saying that and tried to smile. I wasn’t smiling. In fact I was fuming!
In Alexandra’s case, I didn’t think she lacked knowing when to say what. This is referring to when Alexandra was 4 – 5.5. When handling hot situations like these on my own, I would usually give her 15-30 minutes to cool off by herself (making sure that her younger siblings were out of her way) and when she was ready; she would usually approach me to say what she wanted with sincerity. I have observed many other instances when Alexandra behaved like a polite little lady. The battles happened more so because she enjoyed getting into loggerheads with anyone she fancied at the time. It was like a game to her. Alexandra’s problem had more to do with the anger generated from being forced to do something but her parents preferred band-aid solutions. I sometimes suspected that they didn’t really want to fix the problems at all.
As I have said in another post recently, threats and humiliations won’t do. With headstrong children like Alexandra, doing so is just going to invite them to rebel even more. With children who are more passive and have a tendency to hide their feelings, humiliations can seriously lead to long term damage. They can hide so well that the effects don’t start to show until they are in their teens (or later); freaking the parents into wondering what happened to their quiet one. We do not want the child to say thank you or do certain things just because she is afraid that the adult might ridicule or punish if she didn’t. Neither is it a good idea for the adults to be inconsistent and settle for meaningless responses from the child. I am not urging adults to fight fire with gasoline but in most cases, giving each other a break of a few minutes will cool down the situation to create a better outcome for all. The child’s responses and good intended actions have to come from the heart and it takes time for them to learn and feel that.
I find it easier to teach good manners to 3-6 year olds via short informal chats because they have short attention spans. Long lectures put everyone off (including the readers of this blog who may find that this post is getting too long) and to ensure that I don’t embarrass them, I create situations with characters of the same age so they don’t feel like I am picking on them. I may use puppets, figurines or soft toys to act out these short stories. If possible, I will use picture books with similar themes. It is important to demonstrate to the child the right way to handle the situation being discussed. It has to be clear and obvious because a young child is unlikely to read the real message if the explanations are done too subtly. If the child is up for it, we will role play and a few of my creative ex-charges used to come up with their own scenarios. This type of play is not only demonstrating to the adult of their understanding but is also good for language development as well. Children do make mistakes or forget and when they do, I just take them aside to gently remind them, preferably soon after the incident. It has to be done in private without sounding like a scolding. Right or wrong, the child deserves a decent amount of respect.
When dealing with 6-10 year olds, I might tell them scenarios of what is inappropriate and then what is appropriate before asking them which is acceptable. There will always be a few cheeky ones who will insist on the inappropriate behaviour as being appropriate to stir things around. Another way to encourage good manners is to ask the child how they feel if someone thanks them, apologises to them or simply behaves in a caring and polite way. The child’s response is likely to be positive. I sometimes also switch the question around by asking how another person would feel if the child behaved in a polite manner. Older children who are capable of abstract thinking can better handle this type of questions and are therefore likelier to give an honest response to this question. To this, I would encourage the child to do the same to people around him/her.
The behaviour of the little visitor that came with his mum to Bree’s house reminded me of an ex-charge of mine. When I was looking after tricky Alexandra, who can be very rebellious at times, her mum used to force her to thank me or to apologise to me in applicable situations. At times, Alexandra stood defiantly rebelling against her mum’s requests and then demands. Her mum used to react to this by pleading, threatening and then embarrassing the child. What did this nanny do? I stood with a blank facial expression or acted like I was bored. There was nothing I could do. In that household, I was not expected to take up the role of Supernanny and start giving suggestions, especially in situations like this. When the parents were in the mood to ‘listen’ to me, my suggestions were usually rejected or they just went in one ear and out the other. At times Alexandra would give in to her mum and say what was expected of her but this was usually done without sincerity or meaning. In my opinion, that type of response was meaningless but her mum would usually accept them and move on. Other times, Alexandra would do battle to the end and refuse point blank to do what was expected of her. Her mum would usually back down especially if it was time for me to leave. On at least two occasions, she explained her daughter’s personality as stubborn, a highly valuable trait if she was to grow up to work at her dad’s business. She said the same when explaining Alexandra’s bullying tactics at the Early Learning Centre she attended at the time. On another occasion, she said that hired help shouldn’t be expecting to be thanked all the time because they are just doing their job. She looked a little embarrassed after saying that and tried to smile. I wasn’t smiling. In fact I was fuming!
In Alexandra’s case, I didn’t think she lacked knowing when to say what. This is referring to when Alexandra was 4 – 5.5. When handling hot situations like these on my own, I would usually give her 15-30 minutes to cool off by herself (making sure that her younger siblings were out of her way) and when she was ready; she would usually approach me to say what she wanted with sincerity. I have observed many other instances when Alexandra behaved like a polite little lady. The battles happened more so because she enjoyed getting into loggerheads with anyone she fancied at the time. It was like a game to her. Alexandra’s problem had more to do with the anger generated from being forced to do something but her parents preferred band-aid solutions. I sometimes suspected that they didn’t really want to fix the problems at all.
As I have said in another post recently, threats and humiliations won’t do. With headstrong children like Alexandra, doing so is just going to invite them to rebel even more. With children who are more passive and have a tendency to hide their feelings, humiliations can seriously lead to long term damage. They can hide so well that the effects don’t start to show until they are in their teens (or later); freaking the parents into wondering what happened to their quiet one. We do not want the child to say thank you or do certain things just because she is afraid that the adult might ridicule or punish if she didn’t. Neither is it a good idea for the adults to be inconsistent and settle for meaningless responses from the child. I am not urging adults to fight fire with gasoline but in most cases, giving each other a break of a few minutes will cool down the situation to create a better outcome for all. The child’s responses and good intended actions have to come from the heart and it takes time for them to learn and feel that.
I find it easier to teach good manners to 3-6 year olds via short informal chats because they have short attention spans. Long lectures put everyone off (including the readers of this blog who may find that this post is getting too long) and to ensure that I don’t embarrass them, I create situations with characters of the same age so they don’t feel like I am picking on them. I may use puppets, figurines or soft toys to act out these short stories. If possible, I will use picture books with similar themes. It is important to demonstrate to the child the right way to handle the situation being discussed. It has to be clear and obvious because a young child is unlikely to read the real message if the explanations are done too subtly. If the child is up for it, we will role play and a few of my creative ex-charges used to come up with their own scenarios. This type of play is not only demonstrating to the adult of their understanding but is also good for language development as well. Children do make mistakes or forget and when they do, I just take them aside to gently remind them, preferably soon after the incident. It has to be done in private without sounding like a scolding. Right or wrong, the child deserves a decent amount of respect.
When dealing with 6-10 year olds, I might tell them scenarios of what is inappropriate and then what is appropriate before asking them which is acceptable. There will always be a few cheeky ones who will insist on the inappropriate behaviour as being appropriate to stir things around. Another way to encourage good manners is to ask the child how they feel if someone thanks them, apologises to them or simply behaves in a caring and polite way. The child’s response is likely to be positive. I sometimes also switch the question around by asking how another person would feel if the child behaved in a polite manner. Older children who are capable of abstract thinking can better handle this type of questions and are therefore likelier to give an honest response to this question. To this, I would encourage the child to do the same to people around him/her.
Friday, 14 March 2008
Easter Eggs Delivery
A family friend and her son dropped by to deliver some Easter eggs for Bree today. In return, I was instructed to encourage Bree to give them a small basket of Easter eggs. They dropped by today because they were driving down this way and the family is leaving for Queensland tomorrow. As soon as I got the front door opened to let the visitors in, the little boy of about 4 – 4.5 barged in like he was the young master of this house. Bree greeted everyone with a ‘Hello’ and happy smiles. Okay, I did prep her for it. Earlier, we talked about visitors dropping by and I reminded her to greet and to say ‘Thank you’ if she was given something. The family friend was cheery and polite but was unsuccessful in her attempts to try to get her little boy to be the same. He refused to greet us, preferring to fiddle with the little pewter ornaments on the hallway table. Telling us that she was aware that it was time for Bree’s nap (she had probably spoken to Bree’s mum), she informed us that they weren’t staying for long and that they were here to give Bree some Easter eggs. She called out for her son to give Bree a gift bag. He came over reluctantly, snatched the bag off her hand and then thrust it to Bree and said, “There!” Ignoring Bree’s ‘Thank you’ (without any prompting from me), he then turned to me and asked (referring to the ornaments), “Are those hers?” “No, those are just decorations.” I answered as I walked Bree down the hallway to get the basket of eggs for him. Bree was pretty engrossed with the contents inside her gift bag but she didn’t forget her ‘job’. I was very proud of her when she presented the little boy the basket of Easter eggs. He didn’t thank her despite his mum’s initial encouragement. He too checked out the basket and was disappointed that there was no toy included. By this stage, his mum’s cheerful expression gave way to an angry one. Using a stern voice, she demanded his attention so he could thank us properly and say goodbye. She scolded him but to no avail. The boy just ignored his mum and told me that the Easter bunny will leave him some ‘Cars’ eggs. As they stepped out, I tried to get Bree to say “Thank you for coming.” The first two words were loud and clear but the rest of it was more like a mumble of some sort. LOL. I am not sure if it is her personality or maybe she hasn’t yet entered the dreadful rebellious stage, Bree is still happy to do as requested most of the time. She is just so adorable.
Mental Block
Next week, the week before Easter weekend will be Stella’s final week for Term 1. Time really flies! The Supergirl has been in school for nearly a term. I have been searching my head for activity ideas with an Easter theme to do with the girls next week. It is hard to plan for two children who are at different stages of development. It has to be something that is not too easy for Stella or she might find it boring. At the same time, the activity must be easy enough for Bree to participate in at least part of it. I normally have tonnes of ideas but this mental block just won’t shift and it is hindering me from planning ahead. I wonder if they will enjoy making hats. Everyone in my group made hats for the Easter Parade when I was at Kindergarten. My mum had to help adjust the paper bag opening so my hat won’t fall through and cover my eyes. LOL.
The Easter weekend marks the start of Stella’s first school holidays. The family will be going to the country for the weekend and Stella won’t be back until the following Thursday. We have already discussed what she would like to do for the school holidays. She told me that she wanted to cook because we haven’t been doing much of that since she started school. We have even proceeded to picking out some things we want to make and the mother and daughter had already bought some of the required ingredients. Stella even proposed to let Bree do some of the cooking as well. LOL
Bree and her parents will be away for Easter as well but they will be back earlier. I will be back at work on the Tuesday, looking after Bree only until Thursday when Stella joins us again.
I think I will go surf the net to see what other Easter theme craft ideas are out there. There must be something that is simple enough for a toddler to do and yet challenging for a preppy. They have to make something similar because I think Bree’s parents weren’t very happy when Stella made some bangles using fluffy pipe-cleaners the other day. I think they feel that Bree was left out but that wasn’t the case. I just didn’t think the little toddler was developmentally ready to make the bangles and I didn’t want her to accidentally poke her eyes out with the pipe-cleaners either. Bree spent the time drawing. She absolutely loves to scribble with crayons these days.
The Easter weekend marks the start of Stella’s first school holidays. The family will be going to the country for the weekend and Stella won’t be back until the following Thursday. We have already discussed what she would like to do for the school holidays. She told me that she wanted to cook because we haven’t been doing much of that since she started school. We have even proceeded to picking out some things we want to make and the mother and daughter had already bought some of the required ingredients. Stella even proposed to let Bree do some of the cooking as well. LOL
Bree and her parents will be away for Easter as well but they will be back earlier. I will be back at work on the Tuesday, looking after Bree only until Thursday when Stella joins us again.
I think I will go surf the net to see what other Easter theme craft ideas are out there. There must be something that is simple enough for a toddler to do and yet challenging for a preppy. They have to make something similar because I think Bree’s parents weren’t very happy when Stella made some bangles using fluffy pipe-cleaners the other day. I think they feel that Bree was left out but that wasn’t the case. I just didn’t think the little toddler was developmentally ready to make the bangles and I didn’t want her to accidentally poke her eyes out with the pipe-cleaners either. Bree spent the time drawing. She absolutely loves to scribble with crayons these days.
Tuesday, 11 March 2008
$60 Poorer
We finally went to Moomba on Sunday evening. The heat kept us away in the day. After less than 15 minutes of wandering around, we paid $60 to go on the Slingshot ride, an exciting burst of a journey that lasted no more than a couple of minutes. It was a scary ride at first but after being flung upwards really high and then returned to bounce really high again; the ride just fizzled out afterwards. The second half of the ride felt like Cameron and I were just strapped side by side bouncing in a giant Jolly Jumper. LOL. Was it worth it? No, of course not! We walked away feeling like fools for wasting our money. My legs were a little wobbly after the ride and luckily, Cameron caught me just in time or everyone who stood around watching would have a big laugh witnessing me tumbling down the stairs to get off the platform. It was $60 for the ride but there were also t-shirts ($25 each) and DVD available for purchase. Luckily we didn’t pay for the extras. From memory, I think the ride was $90 last year. Nevertheless it was unbelievably crazy of me to waste money like that. No more! Moomba may be over for another year but come this weekend, we will be spending money again – the 2008 Australian Grand Prix is on again at Albert Park. Although I dislike the warm weather, I am secretly hoping that it will be so warm on the weekend that we don’t have to go. We haven’t bought tickets yet. Some warning bells have been ringing on and off inside me for the last couple of months. I kept thinking that we will be in some kind of financial turmoil. I even had a nightmare of Cameron buying a new car last night! This is why I am reluctant to part with any money lately.
Monday, 10 March 2008
I Love Being a Nanny
Spurred on by a few insensitive comments made by someone I barely knew, I decided to write this piece to broadcast to the world my passion in working with little children. Let me just remind the world one more time that being a nanny is not just about changing nappies. There is more to it. I love being a nanny, caring for little children in the security of their own homes. In my opinion, little children should ideally grow up in a small family setting until they are at least 3 or 4 before they are gradually introduced to regular organized programmes in the wider community. Ideally, children should also be cared for by their own parents but sometimes this is not possible if they both work or are operating some kind of business. The parents I work for can afford nannies and they prefer to have one other regular carer looking after their child or children in the comfort of their own homes. Little children are better cared for by a few regular carers (e.g. parents + nanny) as this will help them to establish strong bonds and trust. Babies and toddlers are very generous, loving little beings. If encouraged, they love their nannies just as much as their other primary caregivers (e.g. parents).
Before reading the next part, I just would like to remind everyone that I am aware that most people can’t afford to hire a nanny and there are people out there who are strongly against the idea of having a ‘stranger’ looking after their own precious little ones in the family home.
Sometimes, people argue that it is important to drop their children off at a day care centre for socialization purposes. In my experience, I find that the socialization aspects of my charges are not compromised just because they spend most of the weekdays with me. They do play with other children in the park and on days spent with their parents when I am not there, my charges do play with the children of family friends. Most have some kind of regular get togethers with other children. My current charges are single children without siblings and yet both Bree and Stella are sociable little beings. Each child has a strong natural bond with her parents and bonding with their nanny is just a natural extension of the same process. The parents and I work together to foster good self-esteem and independence in the girls to prepare them for when they join other children in the outside world. Already we are seeing how Stella is not easily swayed by the opinions of her new friends at the primary school. Interacting with people of different ages (e.g. me, siblings and other people) is a form of communication that I strongly encourage all of my charges to do. (How often do we see a work environment where everyone is of the same age?) Such experiences will give children a feel of what is comfortable and what is not while still being supervised. Imagining young children being cared for long hours in a large noisy setting where everyone, except the carers, is of similar age group is nightmarish to me. They deserve to spend at least a few of their early years discovering themselves, connecting with their home environment and practising social interactions in small ‘controlled’ doses. Children who are too young or not yet ready to handle such situations are not only immersed in chaos each day but are also likely to become preoccupied with conforming to gain peer acceptance or become easily confused by conflicting values. Again I must stress that I am aware that not everyone can afford a nanny. Parents have to make the most out of the options available to them.
One of the insensitive comments I received compared a nanny like me to servants working in neighbouring countries. I find that very hurtful considering that it came from someone I barely knew. This was not a comment left in my blog. The person was a friend of a neighbour. She knew very little about what my work entails. She definitely wouldn’t have a clue of what I offer my charges. I do not just mind them, feed them and keep them clean and out of trouble until the parents come home. That is easy work but I do more to teach my little charges, helping them to become independent individuals. For instance, instead of serving them like they are totally helpless, I observe and provide developmentally appropriate opportunities for them to learn to help themselves. Let me tell you that teaching a little tot how to prepare her own jam penny involves more work and preparation than just shoving a ready made one in front of the child during snack time. Despite the extra work, I absolutely enjoy teaching children little things like this. It is such a delightful sight to see a happy child beaming with pride because she learned to make her own simple snack and made more to share with me or with her parents. I wouldn’t have done it for so long if I didn’t enjoy what I am doing. I can honestly declare to the world that my current position is not a form of modern day slavery. Mind you, there are parents out there who are capable of turning a job like mine into hell simply because they are in the position of hiring a nanny. It is the parents, not the children that are usually the troublemakers and I have seen quite a few ugly parents.
I have learned a lot from being a nanny. One day, all the hands on experiences of dealing with little children will no doubt become handy when I am blessed with my own little ones. As for the ugly parenting that I have witnessed, I am adamant to never apply them to anyone’s children, let alone mine. Despite my enjoyment, my career as a nanny will not go on forever. The biological clock is ticking louder than ever. Hopefully my side project will take flight making it possible for a smooth transition to a new career in the near future. The road ahead is likely to be bumpy but we are becoming readier than ever to take on this next adventure that we have been working on for so long. Meanwhile I will just enjoy the rest of my time playing nanny to Stella and Bree.
I apologise to those of you who find this post long and too full of rants. I just need to get it off my chest. I do not wish to offend parents of children in day care centres or child care workers out there but those are my opinions and everyone is entitled to have their own. If you disagree with my views then let’s just agree to disagree.
Before reading the next part, I just would like to remind everyone that I am aware that most people can’t afford to hire a nanny and there are people out there who are strongly against the idea of having a ‘stranger’ looking after their own precious little ones in the family home.
Sometimes, people argue that it is important to drop their children off at a day care centre for socialization purposes. In my experience, I find that the socialization aspects of my charges are not compromised just because they spend most of the weekdays with me. They do play with other children in the park and on days spent with their parents when I am not there, my charges do play with the children of family friends. Most have some kind of regular get togethers with other children. My current charges are single children without siblings and yet both Bree and Stella are sociable little beings. Each child has a strong natural bond with her parents and bonding with their nanny is just a natural extension of the same process. The parents and I work together to foster good self-esteem and independence in the girls to prepare them for when they join other children in the outside world. Already we are seeing how Stella is not easily swayed by the opinions of her new friends at the primary school. Interacting with people of different ages (e.g. me, siblings and other people) is a form of communication that I strongly encourage all of my charges to do. (How often do we see a work environment where everyone is of the same age?) Such experiences will give children a feel of what is comfortable and what is not while still being supervised. Imagining young children being cared for long hours in a large noisy setting where everyone, except the carers, is of similar age group is nightmarish to me. They deserve to spend at least a few of their early years discovering themselves, connecting with their home environment and practising social interactions in small ‘controlled’ doses. Children who are too young or not yet ready to handle such situations are not only immersed in chaos each day but are also likely to become preoccupied with conforming to gain peer acceptance or become easily confused by conflicting values. Again I must stress that I am aware that not everyone can afford a nanny. Parents have to make the most out of the options available to them.
One of the insensitive comments I received compared a nanny like me to servants working in neighbouring countries. I find that very hurtful considering that it came from someone I barely knew. This was not a comment left in my blog. The person was a friend of a neighbour. She knew very little about what my work entails. She definitely wouldn’t have a clue of what I offer my charges. I do not just mind them, feed them and keep them clean and out of trouble until the parents come home. That is easy work but I do more to teach my little charges, helping them to become independent individuals. For instance, instead of serving them like they are totally helpless, I observe and provide developmentally appropriate opportunities for them to learn to help themselves. Let me tell you that teaching a little tot how to prepare her own jam penny involves more work and preparation than just shoving a ready made one in front of the child during snack time. Despite the extra work, I absolutely enjoy teaching children little things like this. It is such a delightful sight to see a happy child beaming with pride because she learned to make her own simple snack and made more to share with me or with her parents. I wouldn’t have done it for so long if I didn’t enjoy what I am doing. I can honestly declare to the world that my current position is not a form of modern day slavery. Mind you, there are parents out there who are capable of turning a job like mine into hell simply because they are in the position of hiring a nanny. It is the parents, not the children that are usually the troublemakers and I have seen quite a few ugly parents.
I have learned a lot from being a nanny. One day, all the hands on experiences of dealing with little children will no doubt become handy when I am blessed with my own little ones. As for the ugly parenting that I have witnessed, I am adamant to never apply them to anyone’s children, let alone mine. Despite my enjoyment, my career as a nanny will not go on forever. The biological clock is ticking louder than ever. Hopefully my side project will take flight making it possible for a smooth transition to a new career in the near future. The road ahead is likely to be bumpy but we are becoming readier than ever to take on this next adventure that we have been working on for so long. Meanwhile I will just enjoy the rest of my time playing nanny to Stella and Bree.
I apologise to those of you who find this post long and too full of rants. I just need to get it off my chest. I do not wish to offend parents of children in day care centres or child care workers out there but those are my opinions and everyone is entitled to have their own. If you disagree with my views then let’s just agree to disagree.
Saturday, 8 March 2008
Moomba 2008 It's On Again!
Who doesn't love long weekends? I absolutely look forward to them these days. I was itching to go to Moomba all day but stayed home to get some studies done. We did go and have a little look on Friday evening when we were on our way out for dinner in the city but there wasn't much going on at the time. It was like no one was aware that Moomba is on again. We will definitely be going tomorrow. I am quite tempted to go on the big slingshot ride. Sorry, I don't know the name for the ride but it does look like the riders get blasted from a giant slingshot. That is just so cool!
Here Comes the Competitions, Bonnie!
Bonnie and baby Nicholas went to a get together at a friend’s house last weekend. Everyone invited turned up with their babies or toddlers. Another friend and I were also invited but we stayed away. I didn’t feel comfortable turning up without any children of my own. It was nice of them to include those of us who have not started a family yet.
Bonnie gave me a call that evening. There was literally no greeting and the woman just started yakking away. The following is roughly part of the conversation that took place.
Bonnie: At what age do babies begin to roll over?
(I didn’t respond because I was wondering why she was asking about this without even greeting?)
Bonnie: Hellooo, are you still there @#%*-@#%*? Please don’t even try to be PC about it.
Me: What?
Bonnie: Oh just tell me. I can handle it.
Me: Both you and I know that each child is an individual and will therefore develop at his or her own rate.
Bonnie: Oh! I just told you not to be PC about it.
Me: I am not trying to be PC. Why?
Bonnie: I can’t find my copy of Baby and Child book. I think I left it at mum’s house. Do you know in which month do babies begin to roll over?
(I decided to annoy her further. LOL.)
Me: Well, like I said, it all depends on the child.
Bonnie: Ok, so I gather that you can’t remember. When did Bree roll? Do you remember?
Me: Why? Is Nicholas rolling? LOL
Bonnie: R* said that her little boy was rolling at 4 months. Do you believe that? Nicholas is three months now and he is definitely not showing any signs of rolling. I am pretty sure that babies are not rolling until around 7 months. Am I right?
Me: Does it matter when he starts to roll?
Bonnie: You are beginning to **** me. I know you are doing this deliberately to **** me. Just why do you ****** do it? Go on, just enlighten me, genius.
Me: Hey, where is Nicky? I thought you didn’t want to sound like the mum in the Ingham Chicken ad. (I laughed so hard that Cameron came to see what was going on.)
Bonnie: R* said that my honeymoon period will be over soon because if Nicky is anything like her son, he will get into all sorts of mischief once he is mobile. I told her that it will be a while yet and she repeated that her little boy began to roll at 4 months and also added that he started to walk at 9.5 months! Someone else in the group dismissed what she said but she then turned to me, suggesting that I should consult the nurse to see if Nicholas is developing properly. That woman is just so annoying. You would think that she would have quit this type of **** by now.
Me: Don’t worry Bon-bon. R*’s little boy is probably going to grow up to be a gymnast or wrestler. Just look at how Nicholas can focus very well. He might grow up to be an Astro-physicist! Don’t let her bother you too much. Did you call someone else before calling me with your question? I feel great that you consider me even though I have no children. What can I possibly know?
Bonnie: Stop putting so much pressure on my little boy and stop putting yourself down. I actually wanted to pull over on the way home to call you but Nicky was fussing in his car seat. It is no fun driving with a crying baby. So, are you going to answer my question?
Me: From what I remember reading, babies usually start to show the urge to turn when they are around 5 – 5.5 months old. They then spend the next month or two practising to perfect the trick. Remember when I told you how I lost A* for a few minutes when she rolled under the couch and got stuck. She was watching me as I was looking for her everywhere. She was close to 7 months then. Bree only started to show interest to roll at about 6.5 months and no one was worried. So, don’t worry.
Bonnie: Hey, that happened to V*’s bubby as well, remember? I think she was under the coffee table. So, why didn’t you just answer me before?
In the rest of the conversation, Bonnie told me what else our friends have been talking about. The tendency to compete was never far away. Eventually the topic of choice was the importance of socialization. R* revealed that her little boy has a girl friend at the day care centre and that they get on very well because they learn to socialize from an early age. By the way, I think R*’s little boy is about 15-18 months old. Someone else talked about how her daughter has a roomful of little friends to grow up with. Then someone asked about the day care centre that R*’s little boy attends and the selling began. Bonnie was targeted particularly because Nicholas is still very young. Bonnie was told that if Nicholas was to have the type of social skills like that of R*’s little boy, she will have to act quick because the waiting list to good day care centres is long. R* even volunteered to enquire for Bonnie. When Bonnie declined, citing that she preferred to keep him at home until it is time for Kindergarten, she was told that she would live to regret for not prepping him. A couple of others suggested that she should at least consider gym or music classes! Why are parents rushing to all these structured lessons? Why do little children have to be entertained by the TV at home and then attend some kind of organized play outside? Why can’t we just leave children alone and let them discover the world gently in the years before they have to go to school? Do parents think that little children will learn nothing or miss out a lot if they don’t attend such classes? There are so many things that we can do at home with the toddler to help them learn and understand the world around them. There is no need to rush. All we (the carers/parents) have to do is to observe the child and offer him / her activities we think they are ready to experience. Mothers do not need a degree in Early Childhood Education to be their child/children’s first teacher at home. There is so much information available free online.
Bonnie gave me a call that evening. There was literally no greeting and the woman just started yakking away. The following is roughly part of the conversation that took place.
Bonnie: At what age do babies begin to roll over?
(I didn’t respond because I was wondering why she was asking about this without even greeting?)
Bonnie: Hellooo, are you still there @#%*-@#%*? Please don’t even try to be PC about it.
Me: What?
Bonnie: Oh just tell me. I can handle it.
Me: Both you and I know that each child is an individual and will therefore develop at his or her own rate.
Bonnie: Oh! I just told you not to be PC about it.
Me: I am not trying to be PC. Why?
Bonnie: I can’t find my copy of Baby and Child book. I think I left it at mum’s house. Do you know in which month do babies begin to roll over?
(I decided to annoy her further. LOL.)
Me: Well, like I said, it all depends on the child.
Bonnie: Ok, so I gather that you can’t remember. When did Bree roll? Do you remember?
Me: Why? Is Nicholas rolling? LOL
Bonnie: R* said that her little boy was rolling at 4 months. Do you believe that? Nicholas is three months now and he is definitely not showing any signs of rolling. I am pretty sure that babies are not rolling until around 7 months. Am I right?
Me: Does it matter when he starts to roll?
Bonnie: You are beginning to **** me. I know you are doing this deliberately to **** me. Just why do you ****** do it? Go on, just enlighten me, genius.
Me: Hey, where is Nicky? I thought you didn’t want to sound like the mum in the Ingham Chicken ad. (I laughed so hard that Cameron came to see what was going on.)
Bonnie: R* said that my honeymoon period will be over soon because if Nicky is anything like her son, he will get into all sorts of mischief once he is mobile. I told her that it will be a while yet and she repeated that her little boy began to roll at 4 months and also added that he started to walk at 9.5 months! Someone else in the group dismissed what she said but she then turned to me, suggesting that I should consult the nurse to see if Nicholas is developing properly. That woman is just so annoying. You would think that she would have quit this type of **** by now.
Me: Don’t worry Bon-bon. R*’s little boy is probably going to grow up to be a gymnast or wrestler. Just look at how Nicholas can focus very well. He might grow up to be an Astro-physicist! Don’t let her bother you too much. Did you call someone else before calling me with your question? I feel great that you consider me even though I have no children. What can I possibly know?
Bonnie: Stop putting so much pressure on my little boy and stop putting yourself down. I actually wanted to pull over on the way home to call you but Nicky was fussing in his car seat. It is no fun driving with a crying baby. So, are you going to answer my question?
Me: From what I remember reading, babies usually start to show the urge to turn when they are around 5 – 5.5 months old. They then spend the next month or two practising to perfect the trick. Remember when I told you how I lost A* for a few minutes when she rolled under the couch and got stuck. She was watching me as I was looking for her everywhere. She was close to 7 months then. Bree only started to show interest to roll at about 6.5 months and no one was worried. So, don’t worry.
Bonnie: Hey, that happened to V*’s bubby as well, remember? I think she was under the coffee table. So, why didn’t you just answer me before?
In the rest of the conversation, Bonnie told me what else our friends have been talking about. The tendency to compete was never far away. Eventually the topic of choice was the importance of socialization. R* revealed that her little boy has a girl friend at the day care centre and that they get on very well because they learn to socialize from an early age. By the way, I think R*’s little boy is about 15-18 months old. Someone else talked about how her daughter has a roomful of little friends to grow up with. Then someone asked about the day care centre that R*’s little boy attends and the selling began. Bonnie was targeted particularly because Nicholas is still very young. Bonnie was told that if Nicholas was to have the type of social skills like that of R*’s little boy, she will have to act quick because the waiting list to good day care centres is long. R* even volunteered to enquire for Bonnie. When Bonnie declined, citing that she preferred to keep him at home until it is time for Kindergarten, she was told that she would live to regret for not prepping him. A couple of others suggested that she should at least consider gym or music classes! Why are parents rushing to all these structured lessons? Why do little children have to be entertained by the TV at home and then attend some kind of organized play outside? Why can’t we just leave children alone and let them discover the world gently in the years before they have to go to school? Do parents think that little children will learn nothing or miss out a lot if they don’t attend such classes? There are so many things that we can do at home with the toddler to help them learn and understand the world around them. There is no need to rush. All we (the carers/parents) have to do is to observe the child and offer him / her activities we think they are ready to experience. Mothers do not need a degree in Early Childhood Education to be their child/children’s first teacher at home. There is so much information available free online.
I Love South Melbourne’s Safeway
It is timely for us to say goodbye to our weekly shopping at Safeway @ QV. We have been shopping at QV since they opened their doors, even before the builders finished their job back in 2003. We love looking around Big W before popping over to Safeway for our groceries. The service at the award winning supermarket has been very good most of the time.
There is now a new Safeway in South Melbourne. It is a bigger store with wider aisles. Above the supermarket is another store that I love visiting, Spotlight. Across from the roundabout outside is the old South Melbourne Market. The strategic location of a variety of stores comes in handy depending on what I am hunting for at the time. We have already shopped at the new Safeway supermarket a few times. Despite minor hiccoughs at the checkouts due to less experienced checkout chicks (a couple of times only); this shop has won us over because it is much less crowded.
From our apartment, the walking distance to Safeway @ QV is roughly the same as the walking distance to South Melbourne’s Safeway. Getting to South Melbourne on foot may involve crossing the mighty busy Kings Way at the lights, but that beats jostling the crowds on the way to Safeway @ QV and then jostling with more people inside the supermarket. Safeway @ QV is like a permanent expo for products Australians use in their daily lives. It is not uncommon to find 5 or more people in a group studying and discussing a pack of Tim Tam or 6 people filing in to buy a litre of milk. What we find most amusing is when people can’t help but study not so discreetly the contents in our trolleys. I am not kidding. That really has happened at least 4 times! We recently enjoyed some relative peace at QV for nearly two months around Christmas time. This is an annual phenomenon. (I know why but do you?) The final straw came in the second week of February. We have had enough jostling with so many people. We need a break and luckily we have another Safeway nearby. We will definitely shop more at South Melbourne’s Safeway. It is just less stressful. Shopping shouldn’t be so stressful.
There is now a new Safeway in South Melbourne. It is a bigger store with wider aisles. Above the supermarket is another store that I love visiting, Spotlight. Across from the roundabout outside is the old South Melbourne Market. The strategic location of a variety of stores comes in handy depending on what I am hunting for at the time. We have already shopped at the new Safeway supermarket a few times. Despite minor hiccoughs at the checkouts due to less experienced checkout chicks (a couple of times only); this shop has won us over because it is much less crowded.
From our apartment, the walking distance to Safeway @ QV is roughly the same as the walking distance to South Melbourne’s Safeway. Getting to South Melbourne on foot may involve crossing the mighty busy Kings Way at the lights, but that beats jostling the crowds on the way to Safeway @ QV and then jostling with more people inside the supermarket. Safeway @ QV is like a permanent expo for products Australians use in their daily lives. It is not uncommon to find 5 or more people in a group studying and discussing a pack of Tim Tam or 6 people filing in to buy a litre of milk. What we find most amusing is when people can’t help but study not so discreetly the contents in our trolleys. I am not kidding. That really has happened at least 4 times! We recently enjoyed some relative peace at QV for nearly two months around Christmas time. This is an annual phenomenon. (I know why but do you?) The final straw came in the second week of February. We have had enough jostling with so many people. We need a break and luckily we have another Safeway nearby. We will definitely shop more at South Melbourne’s Safeway. It is just less stressful. Shopping shouldn’t be so stressful.
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