Alexandra loves eating sticks but not lamb

This is not exactly a horrible story. It is actually quite funny. When I first started working for this family in Toorak, the eldest was one year old at the time. By the time I left, there were three girls, with another one on the way. The parents were hoping for a boy.

This story is about beautiful Alexandra. She was by then five years old. That year, Alexandra, who did two years of a 3 year old kindergarten programme, was finally allowed to advance to the four year old kinder programme. She is not delayed or disabled but is just a little more active than other kids. She is one of those children that I refer to as ‘Tricky Kids’. Alexandra can be sweet and kind one minute, and wreak havoc the next.

One day, the kindergarten organized to visit a children’s farm and it was there that she saw her first real life lamb. She told me excitedly how she had cuddled a lamb and a hen. She had a good outing and didn’t get into any trouble at all. I remembered how I had to virtually ‘disinfect’ her once she got home. Her father was absolutely against the idea of her going to such a ‘dirty’ place and called me twice on that day to make sure that she stayed clean.

Before dinner was served, Alexandra played well with her two little sisters. I thought to myself that this outing was good because if she had been all ‘cooped up’ at the kindergarten all day, she would have been horrible to the two little ones. I enjoyed the peace, keeping an eye on them while I quickly steamed vegetables and grilled lamb chops for dinner. Just before I announced that dinner was ready, Alexandra popped her head in the kitchen to ask what’s for dinner. I told her that it was her favourite. She smiled happily and asked, “What is it? What is it?” So, I told her that it was lamb chops and steamed vegetables. She walked away while I continued to set the table and get the highchair ready.

Next, I heard all three girls crying. The two younger girls were huddling together in one corner crying while staring at Alexandra, who was also crying on the couch. I enquired about what was wrong, and she began to call me names and announced that she was not having dinner. This went on for at least 15 minutes. I am sure that the younger girls didn’t even know why they were crying. Eventually, Millie walked over to her dinner and I carried Olivia to the highchair. As the two girls began to eat, I turned the attention to Alexandra. She just kept saying that she was not eating. While she has been known to be a little cheeky at times, Alexandra had hardly ever caused trouble during meal times. Not knowing that I was adding fuel to fire, I kept asking her to join us for some yummy lamb chops and broccoli (there were other vegetables but broccoli was a favourite).

Alexandra didn’t eat dinner that evening. The girls gathered in the living room to wait for their mum’s arrival. I was reminded by Alexandra all that time that I was in big trouble. When they heard their mum’s car on the driveway, the two younger girls started to walk excitedly towards the front door but Alexandra shoved them and put on a dramatic show, crying loudly. Olivia fell over and started to cry. Seeing that the others were crying, Millie began to sob too. Their mum arrived to see all three girls in tears. As usual, Alexandra was addressed first and then Olivia was given a cuddle. Millie? Who is Millie? LOL. She was always addressed last.

Mum was dragged to the kitchen to scrutinize the dinner I made. Pointing to the lamb chops, Alexandra asked mum to name it. Mum said, “Lamb chops, dear.” Alexandra shouted, “No! That is not a lamb. I don’t eat lamb.” Mum tried to change the topic of conversation because she would like me to be out of the house. She was tired after a day of ‘running around’ and would like to go about putting the girls to bed before their dad’s arrival. She said she will try to give Alexandra some dinner and I left.

Next day, the girls’ dad was still at home when I turned up. He is a ‘busy man’ who spends little time with the girls. I used to talk to him on the phone to give him ‘updates’. In front of the girls, I was told in a stern voice that I served ‘sticks’ for dinner last night, not lamb chops. As he turned around, he gave me a wink. Alexandra then said to me, “See, I told you those were sticks, not lamb chops.” I stood there wondering what the big deal was. Alexandra knew that those were lamb chops. She loved eating them. As I went about getting the two younger girls ready for the day, I thought that she must have come to full realisation during the excursion that lamb chops actually came from real lambs. Her parents chose to play along with her rather than to explain that people eat food from both plants and animals.

For peace, I was requested to play along as well. For a couple of months after the incident Alexandra would wave her lamb chop at me every week when that was on the menu, reminding me that I had made a mistake when I called it a lamb chop.

It didn’t end there. By the time I left the household for the job that I now have, Alexandra had managed to change the names of quite a few foods. Couscous = yellow rice. Rice = pebbles. Chicken = sticks (also). Pork remains to be pork and beef remains beef. I forced myself not to explain that pork is actually a meat product from a pig just so everyone could have peace. Her kindergarten teacher asked me if I served sticks and pebbles for dinner once. The funny thing is that the teacher seemed rather serious at the time. Sadly, the younger girls picked up the new vocabulary and used it in their conversation. The parents used to fear a great deal that Alexandra may be bullied at the ‘big school’ (primary school) the following year but with a vocabulary like this, she could well be singled out.

Is it really so painful for a child to learn that the meat products they eat are from animals? Is it absolutely necessary to play along with them rather than to tell them the truth?