Food Worries 1

One can read an article or two in the newspapers concerning childhood obesity or childhood eating disorders every few weeks. These sorts of media reports make parents worry. I think parents who are self-conscious and have lower self-esteem (Yes! Pregnancy and childbirth do not get rid of low self-esteem) are more easily effected by such issues. I have met such parents over the years and from my experiences of working with such mums, I can see the need for women to address any food issues (and/or other social emotional issues) so they don’t ‘accidentally’ pass on the wrong lessons to the next generation. Not all parents are making mistakes unconsciously; many are actually aware or have been made to be aware of the situation but choose to continue making the same mistakes for various reasons or excuses. The following are a couple of examples:

Bella is the cousin of Alexandra, Millie and Olivia (girls I have mentioned in previous posts). Their parents used to share me as their nanny. Bella was nearly 1 year old when I started working for her family. She ate mostly commercial baby foods. Up until then, I had only worked with families who had refused to feed their children commercial baby foods. Bella and later on, her sister, and their cousins ate commercial baby foods and other processed foods. It was an eye-opening experience.

Within a couple of weeks of looking after Bella, I noticed that she was experiencing trouble with her bowel movements. It was always done with great difficulty and the amount of poo was always very little. I recorded it down anyhow. I also noticed that Bella was constantly snacking and a bottle of juice was always stuck in her mouth whenever she was awake. By juice I mean undiluted long life juices or those blue coloured pop-top drinks. She never drank water or ate vegetables (except corn or whatever was already included in those cans of baby food). Her favourite snack at the time was Allen’s snakes. Although Bella was a month younger than Alexandra, she was rounder and heavier. I do thank God however that Bella was an easy child to look after. She was less active and her personality was a lot calmer.

A couple of months later, I noticed that I hadn’t recorded a poo for Bella for a few weeks. Since I was not working for them everyday, I thought that she must have done poo on the other days or before I arrived in the morning. It is not uncommon for a baby to do a poo only once every few days. Each person is programmed to have her/his own schedule. I did periodically see her straining at the coffee table and I checked her nappy as soon as I smelled something, but there wasn’t anything there most of the time. Eventually, I confronted her mum who explained that Bella doesn’t poo very often and that she thought Bella had been doing poos when I was looking after her (this also revealed that mum didn’t read my written records of the child’s day). I told her this is worrying because I have seen Bella straining with no end results.

Bella’s mum and I spoke about the issue again another day. I told her that it is not normal for a child to cry when he/she is doing poos. She said that it has been like that for a while and thought it was normal because Bella inherited it. She told me the story of Bella’s aunt who had a ruptured bowel or something. I didn’t know what that meant (I am not a medical doctor) and suggested that she consult their doctor as soon as possible. I also took the opportunity to gently suggest the idea of Bella eating ‘real’ home-cooked foods for a change. I told her that I cooked simple foods for Alexandra and she loved them. She agreed to try and asked me to email her a list of foods needed for the following week. I then suggested providing Bella with drinks of water from a cup (at least a trainer cup). To this, mum told me that they are able to afford the juice. My glasses nearly fell off when I heard this. I wasn’t expecting such a fashion conscious and fitness crazy mum to think that I was referring to the cost of juice. I was instead thinking about the empty calories and damage to Bella’s teeth. Now readers, I am aware that mild constipation among young children can be ‘cured’ with pieces of prunes, dates or a nice refreshing drink of orange/apple juice, but it was clearly evident in this case that Bella’s constant binge on ‘juice’ was not helping her at all. Eating fresh pieces of fruits is a much healthier option.

Bella did eventually go to the doctor and was referred to a specialist. Her parents chose not to tell me the full story, except that she was being monitored and that her diet was very low on fibre. She was put on some kind of medication but this was usually done before I arrived for the day. Her aunt (Alexandra’s mum) told me the news about Bella wasn’t good but Bella’s parents were always on their guard when it came to their privacy.

Since seeing the specialist, her diet changed a little. She was given her first trainer cup and began to enjoy a little bit of home-cooked food. She never developed the taste for fresh drinking water and was still offered juice all day. She ate breakfast cereals like Weet-Bix and Sultana Bran a couple of times a week, and sugary breakfast cereals like Fruit Loops and Coco Pops on other days. She has a sweet tooth and demanded sugar to be sprinkled on top of all breakfast cereals. Her bowel movements did improve a little over time but it later affected her time at kindergarten. The teachers refused to manage a child who still needed a nappy for doing poos in. This meant that she sometimes missed the entire morning because she felt that she needed to do a poo and wouldn’t leave the house until it had happened. On bad days, she had to stay at home rather than go to the kindergarten.

Bella’s cousin Alexandra, who enjoyed eating sticks and not lamb, has a healthy appetite. Her sisters are just like her too. In comparison to Bella’s diet, theirs were much healthier (not including the parents’ sabotage). On the days that I worked they ate home-cooked foods. I tried my best to offer the younger girls real foods rather than rely only on commercial baby foods. They loved all sorts of vegetables. Vegetables I had given them included Broccoli, Brussel Sprouts, Capsicums, Broccolini, Asparagus, mushrooms, spinach, squash, pumpkin and others that I can’t remember. The girls would eat them without any protest. In one of my earlier post, Alexandra didn’t want to eat dinner but that was because of another issue and not the taste or texture of the food. They were also meat eaters who loved lamb, beef, fish, chicken and turkey. They also drank lots of water.

Many parents are happy to be blessed with children who are happy to eat healthily. I have heard of one little Larry who looked into his chocolate milkshake from MacDonald’s, poking his straw round and round to see if a broccoli was hiding in it before taking his first sip. So, how can the parents sabotage these girls’ healthy eating habits?

From the time Alexandra first entered kindergarten she was offered more junk food on a regular basis. Her parents didn’t want her to miss out and have less fun than the other children. Junk food was previously available to Alexandria but never to such a large extent. The kindergarten Alexandra attended was a Nut-Free zone. This meant that the children were discouraged from sharing food with their friends, and parents were not allowed to pack lunches containing any nuts in the ingredients used. They were aware that a few of the children in Alexandra’s class had nut allergies, but chose to pack mini Nuttela packs into her lunchbox. I once got told off when I went to pick up Alexandra, because the head teacher was told that I was a live-in nanny and she naturally assumed that I had packed the lunch. (Nannies are told off for mistakes but parents are usually gently reminded of the school’s rules.) The parents became angry with the school and argued that Alexandra was being discriminated because she wasn’t allowed to try different foods. My eyes nearly popped out when I heard that. There was simply no empathy for children with allergies in the school community.

Alexandra’s father wanted his children to have as much fun as possible. Every afternoon after school, the children would binge on junk foods until mum (if she was home) exploded into a rage and confiscated everything. Days before school holidays, Dad would order mum to restock the pantry with a list of junk foods that he had approved. Porridge, toasts and Weet-bix were not approved to be a great way to start the day during school holidays, according to their father. In fact porridge was always frowned upon because it was something that the ‘less fortunate’ ate. In came sugary cereals, frozen meals (e.g. nuggets, pizzas), fizzy drinks, flavoured milk, lollies, chocolates, ice-cream, etc. Please do not be mistaken. This was not a party to celebrate the end of term and was not a one off binge. This kind of binge eating lasts throughout the day and starts on the first day of the holidays through to the last day. Sometimes I thought the children actually missed ‘real’ foods. There had been times when the girls asked for porridge and their dad responded by making a face, or asked the girls, “Why do you want that for?”

Millie and Olivia never experienced life with less junk food in their home environment. They were born into it. They ate them because that was what was expected. Luckily the girls were willing to also eat healthy foods. Alexandra and Olivia also inherited a very slender figure like their mother and paternal grandmother. At that time, it wasn’t obvious that these two girls were affected by this sort of binge eating. The biggest impact was the behavioural changes on Alexandra. The junk foods made her very hyperactive. I observed changes within an hour of her eating some of these things. She can become very defiant and would never sit still. She would be always on the go and have difficulty concentrating on anything that she was doing. This, her mum thought, was because she was all cooped up at home. I would take the girls to the park (twice a day on school holidays) and even there she would terrorise the other children. That, her mum thought, was because these neighbourhood kids weren’t from Alexandra's kindergarten. I have no solution for this because I couldn’t make the children at the park (also from Toorak) attend her school, and most of her playdates with friends from her school were arranged on days when I was not working. From what I have heard these playdates also tend to end disastrously. I wonder why?

As for Millie, I will leave her food issues for another post. Look out for Food Worries 2. To me, what happened to Millie is how some parents can condition their children into having an eating disorder. It all seemed so natural….